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Parenting comes with mess. A colossal mess. I don’t want to go too deeply into what an emotional mess I have become, so let me stick to the surface level. Physical mess.
Ever heard of the Chinese idiom 排山倒海 (pái shān dǎo hǎi)? Their hills and mountains of toys have become a formidable force to be reckoned with. Overflowing. Literally. I have several bags of toys at my workplace right now.
All this while, I thought my wife was being sentimental and wanted to hold on to these tangible traces of growing up. Which explains why these toys multiply like rabbits or rats (but sadly, not the interest in my dismal bank accounts).
The other night, I broached the topic of throwing away some of the toys. They hardly play with them anymore, and I’m confident that they wouldn’t even miss them if I discretely discard some away. Admittedly, my boy has a razor sharp memory when it comes to taking stock of his inventory, but I have gotten used to his patterns and am confident about throwing away stuff that he wouldn’t miss.
The wifey’s explanation stunned me into silence.
“Kids don’t have a lot of things they can call their own, so if you throw away stuff without their permission, they won’t feel safe in their home.”
My inner monologue went like this though: 你要这么想的话,我没有话讲. (You render me speechless if you view things from this lens.)
This is the Japanese’s thoughtful consideration of human rights. 那晚,我领教过了。 (I was whacked by the full blast of her always-right reasoning.)
But I guess, my children. This is why I married your mother. She lets me see things from a different point of view. 🌟
this territory is moderated
Why did u post in AMA and not @Aardvark ~AskSN or @grayruby ~HealthAndFitness?
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10 sats \ 1 reply \ @Aardvark 3h
Because he is trying to avoid your stink, and rightfully so. 😉
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24 sats \ 4 replies \ @Catcher 5h
That’s why you move the stuff to the basement first—then you throw it away from there. 😄
But seriously, I know the struggle. I often try to convince my wife to go more "minimalist" when it comes to toys and clothes, but she never really listens…
I’ve noticed something: when kids have a thousand toys, they often don’t have that one special toy they sleep with every night. At least, my daughter never did. Maybe that’s actually a good thing.
After all, maybe we shouldn’t form emotional attachments to things in the first place.
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My son has special toys, but his passions come in spurts and are relatively short-lived. Right now, he is into pandas. He owns like 20 panda figurines of all shapes and sizes. Brings them everywhere he goes etc. Two weeks later, he will find something else to obsess about (and let his pandas gather dust somewhere haha).
But I see this as a mainly positive thing. Better to have many pastimes than go through life and find everything mundane
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24 sats \ 2 replies \ @Catcher 4h
Wow, Pandas, I though all toy stages are universal:) Did he have a dinosaur period?
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Oh yes!
Specifically triceratops.
My knowledge of dinosaurs exploded exponentially during that phase
What is your daughter into these days?
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Catcher 3h
My son is currently going through a dinosaur phase, but he’s still too young to remember all the names — so we might revisit this interest later. (My friend’s son actually went through the dino phase twice!)
My daughter is more into school (or rather, cool) stuff these days. Gen Alpha seems really into fidget toys right now — squishies, plushies, keychains, and so on. =)
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24 sats \ 2 replies \ @Lazy_AMA 7h
Don't care who's right or wrong! Mutual respect is vital... no lopsided judgements, no psyching, no entitlements, clear mutual respect. Wives are mostly wrong but always claim to be right and wants to enforce it that way... so let's just forget the argument, if they want to brace up to reality, fine! and if not, no arguments. Mutual respect simple. No time for drama.
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That's right, I agree with your opinion, respecting each other is very important, and we must look after each other, harmony must be maintained, stay away from problems that can cause chaos.
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Yup positive vibes only
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Its always good to get a different perspective. Doesnt mean she is always right, but it helps with keeping the house happy.
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Happy wife, happy life!
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Funnily enough, that's something my wife told me too, but she's the one who's always throwing other people's things away and hoping they won't notice.
Sometimes her fastidiousness overrides her humanity, I suppose.
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You can do whatever you want as long as it’s what I want too
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parenting is tough, man. I have very little left every month after subtracting for wife and kid. the thing is, when it was just wife, i never felt the crunch because she worked. with kid, you pay for both because wife is no longer working (in my case at least - we mutually agreed on this).
so i guess what im saying is im sad my monthly DCA is now 50% smaller.
0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Catcher 5h
By the way, why AMA territory? We should have parents territory for this=)
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I thought I was posting in ~alter_native haha. Oh well. But posting in the wrong place caught your attention, so that’s good
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