speakingyourtruth

alter_native

my experiences in japan have come to a close. i'm currently typing up this post sitting at the airport awaiting my final flight home. being out there by myself made me realize i prefer to travel the world versus go on vacation. 

and yes, i strongly believe there is a difference. 

here is my take. 

traveling the world means: 

__1. immersion in language, culture, and environment.__ 
when you're in a country where you know next to nothing, it is extremely eye opening and beautiful. you witness and experience life in a completely different perspective. during my time in japan, i've picked up on more japanese, their cultural practices, and the *gorgeous* scenery. it has been amazing getting to do all three of these things. 

__2. meeting new people from all over the world, and getting a wider perspective.__ 
meeting people from all walks of life, and hearing what they have experienced has validated that i am __not__ crazy in wanting to travel the world (and to hell with a 9-5 job) at least 85% of the year. i think it's also cool to hear other people's stories growing up, and why they have also embarked on deciding to travel. 

__3. growing as a person.__
you are a changed person for the better because of travel. i have experienced it first hand, and it was the best thing i could have done for myself. being out here and seeing other people do the same thing is both inspiring, and furthers my drive to keep at it. 

__4. gaining life experience points.__
travel is kind of like playing a video game where you try to conquer all the hurdles to get to the next level. it bring you all sorts of experiences that you learn to figure out on your own. good and bad. easy and extra challenging. but nonetheless, all of them have been memorable, and i can't wait to look back on them when i am older. 

the thrill, spontaneity, and the fight or flight situations brought to you during solo travel makes it all the more unique, and exciting! 

__5. flexibility and adaptablity.__
when you travel, you can be flexible with your plans. you can stay in one place for as little or as long as want. you are also willing to put up with more. for instance, settling for hostels over hotel rooms. doing free sightseeing instead of paid things. cooking over going out. you get more creative with less money and resources 

vacation to me is: 
__1. relaxing.__
this is where you sit and lounge around in that beach front hotel, or mountain top view in complete luxury. sightseeing becomes more secondary, and vacationing is more about quality time with who you're with. 

__2. seeking comfort and leisure.__
intentions are alot slower on vacation because there is more or less a set itinerary, and you only have so many days to spend wherever you are. you're more inclined to slow down, and take your time. convenience and smooth sailing come into play here. 

__3. as little stress as possible.__
okay, but who actually wants to stress on vacation? no one. this is where you pay for less stress, and for the best experiences possible. 

don't get me wrong. i love going on vacation, and it's one of my favorite things to do especially with my family and friends. 

but for now? given my age and current stage in life, traveling fits me the best. 

i'd rather travel the world than go on vacation, for now. 

i came across this video today while browsing YouTube. definitely worth the watch when regarding the younger generations (me) frustrations over the shitty wages we are getting paid, how FUCKING hard it is to get a “decent” paying job, and the seemingly forever rising costs of living. 

thank you Scott Galloway for speaking the truth. and even more reason to keep stacking sats. 

https://m.youtube.com/watch?si=_rDfwE13nZd2o8tm&v=qEJ4hkpQW8E&feature=youtu.be


a video you should definitely watch: 

BooksAndArticles

shit gets real when the universe says you're ready. 

it actually did say it! it was hilarious. 

shortly before i left for japan, i was given a tarot reading by one of my best friends. one of the cards that i pulled from the deck said: 

"shit is about to get real." 

and it got very real for me.  

long story short: i always pondered what it would have been like to live abroad, wherever it may be. i made it happen, and it was not the fairy tale it's seemingly made out to be. 

in truth, it is some hard fucking work. imagine packing up your life in bags, flying across the world away from everything and everyone you know, and attempting to build something out of scratch from that. and on top of that, you have to learn to stay mentally and emotionally composed. 

i survived it, grew from it, and i am still here trying to figure things out. 

my time abroad was short, yet, i feel so much more open eyed and well rounded as a person because of it. 

the universe tests you to your core when it believes you're ready for the hard and challenging hurdles.

i didn't think i was ready for this monumental change to occur, but it turns out, i was. 

and when the time is right, you will be too. 



living for experiences. 

i guess the no capitalization is a signature when i write here…?¿ if that makes sense haha.  

FOMO is a big thing, especially with the rise of social media and technology. when we are constantly stimulated by the latest trends, viral videos, posts, the hot new materialistic thing to buy, etc. we cannot help but have this "want" for it just to say that we have it.

if that makes any sense, at all. 

as i get older, i am learning that i really only seek to feed into things that are genuinely valuable to me, and have experiences that i will remember forever. things such as: 

**1. travel.**
this is at the top of my life for a reason. you are only young for so long, and there is something so special about "getting up and going" whenever. i want to look back at this time in my life and be proud i took the leap of putting myself out there to grow, learn and explore more of the world and who i am. having left my job on the 30th of April, I have taken whatever time i have left to explore japan before i go home. every second has been worth it so far, and solo travel is a taste of true freedom (which everyone needs to do at least once). 

**2. quality time.**
there is nothing more important than spending time with the ones i love. this life is too short, and the clock ticks for all of us. i haven't seen my family and friends in over 2 months, and there is nothing more i want to do than hug all of them when i get back home. 

**3. a yearn to learn.**
learning new things is amazing. i have no idea what kind of career or self-employed endeavor i am gonna take when i go back home, but i have been taking joy in content creation, and learning digital skills (social media, ads, and content writing: such as SN). i am always working on these so i can do work remotely and continuously travel the world. 

at the end of the day, none of the materialistic things i own are going to go with me when i die, and i want to leave this life knowing i did some good things, and had a good time with the people that matter the most. 


i feel like the time we have in life speeds up as we continue to get older. i've noticed it ever since my college years began, and up until now. i think alot of factors play into this, such as: 

- spending time with your close friends, family, and loved ones.
- doing things you genuinely love. (i feel this alot when i get in touch with my creative side or reading).
- traveling and doing things that add well, life, into your life. 

pretty much anything that adds excitement, or fun to fill your days. this is when you think to yourself: 

"time flies when you're having fun."
"where did the time go?"


but have you ever had an experience where time just completely slowed down? where a few hours can feel like days, and the days feel neverending? where all that familiar excitement is taken away, and all you're left is with yourself and your mind.

as my time here in japan is coming to a close (tonight is my last night in my apartment), i want to reflect on how the concept of time has played a huge role in shaping who i am today. 

the first two weeks alone were the slowest weeks of my life. i knew nothing, no one, or what the heck it was like living somewhere else besides the city and house i grew up in in the states. i still vividly remember the day i had to walk away from my boyfriend at tokyo station, and get on the bullet train back to the city i was living. i got this sense of survival mode kicking in, because i began to realize i was truly on my own. 

however, as soon as i got back to my apartment, and i felt like I wanted to die. the days were so (fucking) slow, and all my mind could think about was hugging my parents, sister, and boyfriend, hanging out with my friends, walking up and down my favorite local beach every weekend, and eating at all my favorite food places around town. 

to combat the loneliness, i printed pictures of all these things at family mart. i posted them on the wall of my apartment fridge, and would just stare at it for hours, red and puffy eyed. i remember that first saturday here, cooking and eating dinner in front of that wall. 

i was fighting the temptation to leave because of how hard it was. my comfort zone was tested to the limits, and there was even a point where i almost bought a return flight home. 

but, there was something inside of me that kept telling me to really try to stick it out. and i am forever thankful that i did. 

i learned to simply exist one day a time, and if i was alive, then that was a good sign. that existence turned into productive living, and whatever tasks or things i had to take care of within that day were all that mattered. then, that produtive living gradually turned into what i believe is now thriving. time began to feel somewhat normal again, and all of sudden: 

here i am now, understanding that things don't always work out which is okay. onto bigger and better things!

here are some things i've learned in time slowing down:

**1. you learn to become an adaptable person.** 

when you're left with no choice but to fend for yourself, you are forced to adapt to whatever situations that come your way. from figuring out how to open a bank account, to not getting lost on buses and trains, it's like solving daily life puzzles. at first, it's really scary, but it's so beneficial when taking on real life scenarios. 

**2. take acceptance over resistance.**

accepting the ordeal that is in front of you is better than resisting it. time slows down alot when you pick and find all the bad things within a brand new enviornment. as you accept what your reality is, you become more optimistic about what the future holds. i personally did not like the area i got placed here in japan at all. however, it was still japan and i got the opportunity to live here for a bit. that is already cool in itself. i accepted it, and i made it bearable for my time being. 

**3.your comfort zone is tested to its limits.**

as i have said several times, being abroad is the true test of your comfort zone. there is nothing else like it and i will always wish for everyone to try this at least once in their lives if they can. when you're uncomfortable and in the face of new and unfamiliar things, time is agonzingly slow. the discomfort i felt with true loneliness is unmatched, however, it was worth every second of becoming more confident, communicative, and gaining clarity for what i want moving forward. 

**4.shifting your mindset is key to thriving.**

if i didn't learn to do this, i would have turned around to go back home the day i landed here. when you think negatively, you will attract it. the reverse also happens when you think positively. again, this goes back to time. positive thinking leads to thriving where time just flies, and negative thinking leads to merely surviving, where time can feel sluggish and agonizing to get through. i try to keep my mindset positive, so i can remain healthy and uplifted during the times that seem tough. 

i hope this post can help anyone that feels like they have days that never seem to end, or times that feel too slow where nothing seems right at all. 

you are capable of getting through the hard shit to get to the good shit. 



how to live when time slows down. 

embrace being emotional. 

i agree! emotions can also be a private matter. i just want people to know it's okay to truly feel and acknowledge them when they do come :)

i thought i would bring one of my favorite content concepts here to SN! 

here are some of my favorite quotes from my favorite books. 

i hope these can bring a little bit more light into your life, and help you ge through the days that feel rough. 

enjoy :)

>There is some good in this world, and it is worth fighting for. 
- J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of The Rings  _The Two Towers_ 

 >Happiness can be found in even the darkest of times, of one only remembers to turn on the light. 
- J.K. Rowling, _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban_

>Each day means a new twenty-four hours. Each day means everything's possible again. You live in the moment, you die in the moment, you take it all one day at a time.
- Marie Lu, _Legend_



bookish quotes to live by: part 1

What's something totally ridiculous that's somehow become "normal"?

SatoshisSkeleton

- knowing someone to get a job. 
- slaving away for 40 hours a week for 35-40 years only to actually live for 20 years of your life, probably less.

My tips to prepare for an interview

cryotosensei

thinking about and preparing for job interviews gives me the WORST anxiety. i always think i am never good enough, and the experiences i have on my resume are going to be overlooked as non-relevant. 

for the teaching job i had out here, it took 5+ interviews over the course of 3 months for them to make a decision. 

this post is great in how to navigate interviews moving forward. thanks for this! 

i want to look back on my life and regret nothing. 

i am trying my best to have no regrets moving forward now. in my early 20's i dwelled too much on what i could instead of taking action. 

and yes! i am letting the universe better guide me as well :)

there has always been this stigma that showing any sort of emotion is a negative thing. shedding tears, bursts of anger or frustration, feeling overjoyous and happy, and just showing a vulnerable side of yourself in general is often looked down upon. 

when i was a younger, it wasn't common for me to be told or asked: 

"you're being too emotional about everything." 

"why are you crying again?"

"why do you always look so sad?"

"are you mad about something?"

"what's wrong with you, and why are you always like that?"

when i look back on these questions and statements now, i think: 

well, why not? don't we have tear ducts for crying, and a consciousness that literally allows us to think and feel things? 

i am the type of person who is very much in touch with how i'm feeling on the inside. 

when i am happy or feel anything positive, i embrace all of it radiating inside of my body. i smile, am cheerful and upbeat around people, and optimistic to the core. it's the feeling you get when you're confident that everything is going in the right direction, where you feel super high on life. 

when i'm sad, it's the end of the world. i sit and question everything about my existence, the direction i'm going in life, and whatn i'm doing. the days into years, and the hours turn into days. it weighs you down in every aspect. 

whatever feelings or emotions that come to me any day, i just embrace them. and you should too. 

please know that us humans aren't robots. and if the universe wanted to make us as such, it would have. 

normalize feeling your emotions because they are not a bad thing. 

validate them. understand them. and navigate through them. 

you, and everything else that follows is going to be okay. 

i have 13 days left here in japan before i move back home. 

the apartment is being cleaned, house things are being sold and given away, and i cannot help but be a bit sad that this time is coming to a close so quickly. 

but, from quitting my job last month to going home earlier than i thought, i regret absolutely nothing. i truly believe i learned what i needed to, and now i'm moving forward with whatever is coming next as a more grown, and well rounded person.

after having recently come back from solor traveling to Tokyo, it made me realize a lot of things about the things i want out of life. 

here are some of those things. 

1. life is so fucking short. 

i am in my mid 20's. of course, to many people that's super young, and it is. i won't lie about that.

but that's just it, i am in my mid 20's already. it still feels like yesterday I just had my 18th and 21st birthdays. I still remember them as clear as day. 

i spent so much time already dwelling on what i could do, instead of what can be done right now. after getting a taste of the freedom that solo travel provides, it made me realize the little time we actually have and it should be spent in the most meaningful way possible. 

2. death could be at my doorstep tomorrow. 

tomorrow is never a guarantee, so you might as well work toward the things you want right now. for me, it's to read, write, and travel full time. 

how will i get there without having to worry financially? still figuring that out day by day. and that's okay. i accept it.

3. you are only alive when you are truly present. 

being abroad and solo traveling made me see how much more present it makes you. you only have so much time to spend in whatever place you're at, and you become so much more engrossed and invested in what is going on around you. it is a truly beautiful thing to experience and feel. 

4. time is the most valuable asset you have. 

working a 9-5 is personally not for me in the long term. 

i have understood that time is the most valuable thing we have, and i will hustle in order for my goals to be reached faster.  

5. i want to look back at my life and look at all the meaningful and valuable things i did for myself. 

an epiphany hit me hard while solo traveling: 

it offers a type of freedom and growing experience that cannot be obtained anywhere else. i felt nothing but pure joy, value, and meaning conversing with people from all over the world, walking up and down the streets of tokyo alone, and just taking it in for what it was: life being lived presently and wholly.

when i think back to my younger years in the future, THIS is what i want to think about: what i experienced, how i grew, and how it shaped me as a person. and the last thing i would ever want is to regret and wonder about the what if's or what i wish i could've done. 

for anyone who is reading this: 

i want you to know that if there is an urge in your heart telling you to live life the way you've always wanted, take the leap of faith and do it.

i'm still currently trying to figure it out myself. 

am i scared? definitely. 

will it happen? in my heart, i know it will in one or another, even when my mind is always telling me otherwise. 

On Tuesday evening this week, I had a chat with my sister just to update her on how things are going here in Japan. My job just concluded, and I’m moving out of my apartment this week and that’s about it, I told her.

She then said to me, “so you’re just gonna spend time in your apartment the whole week to clean and not do anything else?” 

And that struck me really hard. 

On wednesday morning around 7:30am, I booked a place to stay as well as bullet train tickets to Tokyo.

I left that afternoon around 4. 

And it has been the BEST decision I made since I’ve been out here alone. 

HANDS. DOWN. 

I’ve had my fair share of moments coming to Tokyo. But coming out here by myself with absolutely no plans, exploring and doing whatever comes to mind?

Now THAT is a different type of freedom I am CRAVING all the time now. 

It’s been less than 48 hours of being here by myself. 

I have already met so amazing people from all over the world and walks of life, explored the city with and or without them, and have done some new and fun things on my own. 

Idk where or how tomorrow will go, and that actually excites the hell out of me. But one thing I know for sure: Some of the best shit in life comes spontaneously, and when you say, Fuck it. 

This is just a small taste of Solo Traveling, but I think I have found the greatest thing that has happened to me. And quite possibly, my purpose in life. 

For anyone who has thought about traveling to places they wanted to go, but never have taken the leap: 

DO IT. and don’t wait on anyone else because time is finite in this life. don’t make excuses anymore. don’t hesitate and let anything hold you back. 

Solo Travel is the best thing to happen to me. Period. 

what in your opinion is the definition of a good day?

is it in how you feel? 

or what took place? 

or because of a certain someone, something, or some place you are looking forward to going? 

for me, a good day is when i have one, or if i’m lucky, all of these things: 

- good company ✌🏻 
- good food 🥘 
- a good book to read 📚 
- when the sun is shining ☀️  
- getting to talk to a person i love ❤️ 

i’m happy either way if these things are big or small in size. simple, but effective in making all the days (at least mine) better ☺️

how do you define a good day? 

i recently read a post here on SN that talked about how reading for leisure is becoming less and less favored as the years go by. it kind of struck me as odd because literally everything that we do requires us to read in some form or another. 

i've heard many people say in real life and across the internet, 

"i don't like reading."

"i don't read."

"it's boring, and i don't have the time for it."

but, you read every single day though. and you do have the time for it.

you read captions from social media platforms, tv, movies, music lyrics, billboards, street signs, pretty much anywhere where words can be plastered. and you're not bored with those things, right?

it's not that people don't like reading. it's the fact they haven't found something worth sitting down for yet. 

take books for instance.

for someone like me (despite being aphantasic), i can read those things cover to cover easily. give me anything that screams the subjects of fantasy, dystopian, or science fiction and you have my interests almost instantly. 

i also am open to self-help, growth, and manifestation books because why not level up your character and better yourself over time? 

i have fallen in love with these subjects because: 

1.  i love the thrill and entertainment of worlds, characters, and plots that go beyond our reality. 

2. i want to always work on myself, and be better everyday. 

both of which bring value to my life. 

so the next time you say you don't like reading, really ask yourself: 

what is it you find yourself reading alot? 

what subjects interest you the most, and what do you think could catch your interests?

is it bringing something meaningful and valuable to your life? 

so you see, reading is like a journey of self-discovery in itself. you're figuring out exactly what you like and don't like, and what serves you purpose. 


you don't hate reading. you just haven't found what you like to read yet. 

it's really sad to think how much judgement and hatred is fueled into this world. we are always anticipating the worst, and all the horrible and unjust things that are happening. 

take the news, for instance. when is it you ever see anything positive, uplifting, or actually good being done for the benefit of the many? 

rarely ever. 

and when those rare moments of good acts and deeds actually do happen, the viewers gawk at such a thing happening rather than be supportive or inspired to take action.  

so, will there ever be a time where people won't judge, comment, or critique something or someone be it good or bad? 

not a chance. 

one of my favorite country's singer says in her lyrics: 

"If you can't lose the weight, then you're just fat
But if you lose too much, then you're on crack
You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't
So you might as well just do whatever you want" 

.......................................................................................................................

"say what you think 
love who you love 
'cause you just get so many trips 'round the sun
yeah, you only, only live once" 

so, should you really care about what others think on what you do, act, dress, or believe in? 

no, you shouldn't. 

with this, there will always be someone that has something to say about you, whether you do all the right things, or all the wrong things. 

life is too short to be concerned about the opinions of others. and this is all the more reason to keep living and striving for the life that you know in your heart you deserve. 

you'll be given shit, no matter what. and why you shouldn't care.

today, has been a tough day. although i did some of the necessary things to move, and had some quality time with my coworkers, it was pretty hard to get through mentally and physically (i'm sick at the moment which doesn't really help). and i might have to see a doctor out here, which makes me both nervous and anxious. 

trying my best to stay on the bright side of things and tell myself that everything is okay and fine, but you just can't help that it feels like it isn't. 

i survived the day though, which i give myself credit for. 

what are some things you do to keep yourself positive and in high spirits when it's tough? 

let me know in the comments. 

how do you keep positive? 

critical thinking. it's a skill and not an easy one at that.

it takes a lot of brain power to really dive deep into the depths of your mind and think of an answer that goes well beyond straightforward objectivity. 

it's not like answering what 1+1 is, memorizing the alphabet, or tying your shoelaces. 

so how might you develop your critical thinking skills more? 

by questioning literally, everything. 

when you want to dive into the underlying meaning of things or better intepret complex situations // scenarios, the most simple question you can start to ask is: 

why? 

during my time at University, my entire major was the understanding and interpretation and literary texts, and writing about them. critical thinking skills were required in both aspects. 

let me make this example very simple: little red riding hood. 

i feel like most people have read this story. if not, well, here it is. a girl with a red hood goes into the woods to see her grandma. there's a wolf. the big bad wolf. he finds out where grandma is, pretends to be little red, and eats grandma. and then tries to eat little red too. and depending on which version of the story you read, little red actually gets eaten or little red riding hood saves grandma by killing the wolf. 

so, that's the plot of what happens. 

but what about all the underlying aspects of the story? 
what is it that you see or have observed between the lines? 

why does the wolf want to know where grandma is? 
because he is greedy, and seeks to satisfy his wants. 

why does red hiding hood tell him where grandma is? 
because she is young and naive and sheltered to the world still. 

what lessons come out of this? 
no matter how nice they seem or how curious they are, you should never put all your trust into strangers, ever. 


here is another example with an excerpt from the opening page of a book  (Legend by Marie Lu). 
This time, I will add some "What" questions: 

"My Mother thinks I'm dead. Obviously I'm not dead, but it's safer for her to think so. At least twice a month, I see my Wanted poster flashed on the JumboTrons scattered throughout downtown Los Angeles. It looks out of place up there. Most of the pictures on the screens are of happy things: smiling children standing under a bright blue sky, tourists posing before the Golden Gate Ruins, Republic commercials in neon colors. There's also anti-Colonies propoganda. 'The Colonies want our land,', the ads declare. 'they want what they don't have. Don't let them conquer your homes! Support the cause!'" 

Take a moment to consider these questions // statements. These are meant to jog your thinking and interpretation skills a bit more. 

1. What type of world or situation do you think is being built from here? Give one quote, and explain why. 
2. Why do you think this person is Wanted? 
3. What kind of theme is emerging? 
4. What type of tone is being conveyed to the readers? 

After writing some thoughts down, here is what I see:

1. A dystopian world with a positive facade over it. The quote being, "Most of the pictures on the screens are of happy things: smiling children standing under a bright blue sky, tourists posing before the Golden Gate Ruins, Republic commercials in neon colors." Although everything might seem happy with the children and tourists included, darker tones are clearly at work. The Golden Gate Ruins are an ode to what was once the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. The Republic can also be assumed as some institution of power at work here that controls a majority of things, and since there is no mention of the US or State Government (based off mentioning the cities of LA and San Francisco), it can be further inferred it has collapsed. The neon colors on the commenricals are an attempt to spark joy to whatever current world the story is taking place in. 

2. The person is Wanted because they have clearly done something to disrupt the order of things within this world. They are very important if their face is displayed throughout the city constantly.  

3. An emerging theme that can be seen is Fear of some sorts. The Colonies can be assumed as an enemy to the Republic,  and they are most likely feared by the people. The Republic is using the people's Fear to spark a call to action.  

4. The tone is quite frank with the first sentence, and it becomes more honest and real as the world is being built by the narrator. It also comes more from an observational perspective, which could make the current tone of voice a bit more on the nuetral side. 


as you can see, critical thinking takes both time and effort to do well. when you question everything, it provokes your mind to analyze and interpret the greater meaning at work. reading for leisure and plot purely keeps us entertained. but being able to ask the why's, what's, and purpose of an author's or creator's intentions is what activates this essential life skill that is gradually becoming lost. just like any skill, you will become better at it with time and practice! 

so, the next time you watch a movie, listen to music, read a book, intake an art piece, whatever it might be, ask yourself a few questions on what is happening, and consider the deeper meaning. it makes things more meaningful, and alot more interesting. 



build your critical thinking skills with this one technique: 

words are powerful things. not only has writing here on SN made me see that better through all your comments and notes, but the way you talk to yourself is another sort of power that the Universe also takes into account. 

whatever you think and perceive about yourself, or anything for that matter, will come into fruition eventually. when the Universe thinks you're ready for something, trust me when i say that the timing is right every single time. 

i manifested love, and we have been going strong for almost five years. 
i manifested living in japan, and i am here right now, finding out that is not for me long term.
i manifested to be more confident, stronger willed, and more clarity within my heart and soul. and that is exactly what i got in the past month and a half. 

those have been the most life changing events for me, and here are some things i would like you to take away when trying to bring your own desires into reality:

1. Be both thankful and grateful to whatever Higher Power or Entity that is at work. 

Be genuine when you say this. This also goes for whatever blessings and opportunities that have come your way so far. Be mindful, aware, and give gratitude. 

2. Stay positive and optimistic. 

This is always easier said than it is done, especially when feel like the things you want are so far out of reach. But as long as you continue to keep faith, they will come to you. 

3. add "right now" and write down your desires as if they have already happened. 

I watched this video the other day talking about how your subsconscious mind cannot tell the difference between what is fake and what is reality. so long as you keep feeding it with positive thoughts that are bringing you desires "to life" that is when they become real! 


use words to your advantage whenever you possibly can. they can guide you toward the path you're meant to be on if you let them. 