If I don't have something nice to say... \ stacker news ~alter

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If I don't have something nice to say...

866 sats \ 23 comments \ @DesertDave 3h alter_native

I learn a lot about myself here on stacker. It is where I get most of my human interaction. I am quite used to having very different world views than most people around me. I believe I have a very unique perspective. And even though we are mostly bitcoiners here, there are still many different world views, which is great. I wouldn't want everyone to be like me. That would be a strange, messed up, world.

And yet, I still find my myself participating in discussions that I have no business engaging with. I find myself occasionally dropping in to drop a few words that I know are going to trigger other people. It's like I am looking for a fight. Why do I do this?

I think in some level, I just want connection whatever it looks like. Even when it feels bad. How strange is that? Do you ever chase a confrontation?

One of my biggest lessons in life is to stay silent more often. I am basically writing this to remind myself of this lesson. I only want to spread my love. I want to share about things that are close to my heart. I want to share my unique perspective, not try and get others to change theirs. This is my goal. Can anyone relate to this? Can we really ever convince anyone of anything? Or can we really only lead by example?

Thank you stackers for being my online community.

💚

-dotd

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42 sats \ 4 replies \ @Aardvark 2h

I think I've gotten into one minor confrontation on SN since I've been here, but this is a pretty small community. I decided that I should just treat everyone here respectfully, even if they are a dick.

I don't always need to be part of the problem.

11 sats \ 3 replies \ @DesertDave OP 1h

I always do my best to stay respectful. Sometimes my ego gets more involved and I keep engaging where I could just let it go.

11 sats \ 2 replies \ @Aardvark 1h

I save my ego for reddit. Fuck those dudes. I can be nice here. 😁

11 sats \ 1 reply \ @DesertDave OP 1h

Why even spend time there? Other than the fact that there is like 1000x the users and content. Maybe I need an outlet like that to go trolling. Lol

11 sats \ 0 replies \ @Aardvark 1h

I do a little light trolling, and there's a couple sub's that I like, but I don't spend much time there anymore. It's not great for mental health.

110 sats \ 2 replies \ @suraz 1h

I can relate to this alot.

21 sats \ 1 reply \ @DesertDave OP 1h

Thanks for reminding me yesterday. It was that discussion that inspired this post. I want to remember to stay in my lane and be productive.

11 sats \ 0 replies \ @suraz 1h

Yes, I got that. That's the mindset to have. Sometimes we seek lot of connection even through disagreement, and it's hard to give up at any point. Leading by example is a great way to approach things. Like you said, staying in our lane, that matters.

11 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined 1h

I find myself occasionally dropping in to drop a few words that I know are going to trigger other people. It's like I am looking for a fight. Why do I do this?

I usually stop myself, but I share the impulse.

11 sats \ 3 replies \ @john_doe 2h

Instead of chasing confrontation I try to dodge triggering wordings or similar things. Even the dumbest things I just let it go, because I strongly believe that we are free to think and have different ideas. So my priority is freedom, and then every other thing becomes secondary to me. Based on that for example, during the corona virus story I was never wearing a mask but my best friend was (although he stopped afterwards, as I lead by example hahaha). And yet never had any friendship problem. If we respect each other I am pretty open to anything and don't say anything. So I quite relate to your post.

Peace!

21 sats \ 2 replies \ @DesertDave OP 2h

I agree. I usually am careful which words I use. But I sometimes feel myself slipping. I will pop into something political or likewise and drop a hot take when deep down I know it probably isn't going to be helpful. Leading by example is the way for sure. That's harder on an online platform. No one on here really knows how I live or how I show up. I am learning though. Thanks for sharing.

11 sats \ 1 reply \ @john_doe 2h

Political topics are quite divisive isn't it? Sometimes I see people pro-Ukraine or pro-Russia on Stacker News also, I just keep being pro-peace and that's it. And if people want to kill Russian, I am still ok with that. I would just advocate then to kill less, and if it works, then less minus one, until zero hahaha.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @DesertDave OP 2h

Totally. I pretty much have no idea what is going on with any of that. I don't pay NY attention. I believe in peace as well. And I don't think any of us really know what's going on so we are all arguing based on our own unique perception of it. It's all designed to divide us. So I am usually just pointing out that it isn't worth the attention. Focus on what is right in front of us and see where we can make a difference in our own communities. Keeping the faith for a new different world is challenging.

11 sats \ 1 reply \ @denlillaapan 2h

It's like I am looking for a fight. Why do I do this? I think in some level, I just want connection whatever it looks like. Even when it feels bad. How strange is that? Do you ever chase a confrontation?

I mean, a little bit -- right? Shit-testing is a thing; challenging people to give the best version of this or that statement/argument is an important role.

Keep fighting

10 sats \ 0 replies \ @DesertDave OP 2h

It is a fine line though. Sometimes maybe we can help someone see a new perspective. Sometimes it feels like fighting for the sake of fighting, Which quickly feels counter productive at times. I do like challenging people though.

11 sats \ 4 replies \ @Satosora 3h

I dont feel it is bad to learn more about a subject, but dont be surprised if someone has more knowledge than you. As long as people are respectful, this community will thrive

10 sats \ 3 replies \ @DesertDave OP 3h

I am not very knowledgeable so I know most people on here know more than I do for sure. I feel that my insights have little to do with knowledge. I do my best to stay humble.

11 sats \ 2 replies \ @Satosora 3h

People that are able to elaborate and draw in discussion and conclusions are the people we want on SN. The more creative thinkers we have here, the more perspectives we will see. Its a win win for everyone.

10 sats \ 1 reply \ @DesertDave OP 3h

I am much better at this in real life than online. Using only words to communicate is quite challenging. In person, people can feel me. And and as a result, I am far more effective at communicating.

11 sats \ 0 replies \ @Satosora 2h

Real life communication is very important. This is just online. With practice, it will get easier. You will get lots since you own a territory.

11 sats \ 1 reply \ @0xbitcoiner 3h

The line between good discussion and confrontation is very fine. Some quickly fall into confrontation, it's much easier online. I never try to convince anyone, people have to find their own way. We can help them find it, but never point it out.

11 sats \ 0 replies \ @DesertDave OP 3h

I agree. I am still working on finding that line. And it is interesting how different it is online. I find it quite difficult to feel any sense of confrontation in person to be honest.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @zapsammy 3m

from physics perspective, silence is the moment of tension release. when the sound gets compressed, the potential energy of particles builds up, and upon rarefaction, the energy is released.

people need some space in order to process what was communicated.