What’s your SN routine like?

cryotosensei

Confessions of a burnt-out father

I hate parenting to the core. 

I have two kids: a 4-year-old boy and an 11-month-old girl. I have wanted to be a father. So, don’t get me wrong. I love my kids. But the whole business of parenting is so intense and exasperating and exhausting that I literally sigh my deepest before I open the door to my house these days.

I embraced the birth of my first child. I remember sharing with my friends that I thought parenting ennobles my job because my salary would be used to raise another human being. There’s an added layer of purpose to my job.

But I soon came to dislike parenting with a vengeance. Obviously, I knew that my life would undergo several drastic changes, but I just wasn’t prepared for the way it would consume my days and nights and suck my time, energy and efforts.

I think the problem lies in that my wife and I have no support. My mother has passed on; I can’t possibly rely on my 80-year-old father to take care of his grandkids; and my parents-in-law are based overseas. So we have to undergo the daily grind alone. Every day. 

How about a nanny or helper? I hear you ask. I don’t think my wife would entrust her kids in the hands of other people. I don’t want to raise something that is already a foregone conclusion and incur her displeasure. 

So why am I so frustrated? I think parenting takes away my need for solitude and companionship without offering me anything in equal measure. All of a sudden, I have to give up my social life. I haven’t met my friends in months. I crave for night-out sessions, in which I can just stay out late to catch up with my friends.

I don’t have to be around people all the time. I’m perfectly fine signing up for seminars and workshops and attending them alone. I miss being exposed to people outside my usual realm of work and expanding my horizons. I hate that I have to rush home every week day after work because I need to pick up my kids from the childcare centre. I hate that I have to spend my weekends taking my boy to the indoor playground so that he can release his pent-up energies. In fact, right now I’m at the indoor playground. All I see around me are equally bored parents passing the time buried in their handphones. Since when did my activity-filled life turn out to be so mundane?

As for solitude, sometimes I feel the need to be alone and decompress and not have to engage with anyone. But parenting doesn’t allow me to do that. I need to feed food to a screaming baby (who wants her natto NOW!) and a talkative toddler who just talks non-stop. I yearn for peace and quiet desperately. 

I find that parenting is akin to being trapped in an enclosed cage, where I cannot breathe in fresh air and have to sustain myself on the limited oxygen available. Prior to fatherhood, I had anticipated it to be similar to a terrarium. But nope, I just feel suffocated by the whole experience.

I don’t regret being a father. But every day, I ask myself why I am so unhappy even though I have two beautiful kids. I just want them to grow up quickly so that I can regain some semblance of my previous social life. I don’t like how parenting deprives me of everything else and denies me balance.

My workplace grants me access to a counsellor. Perhaps I should seek his services. Then again, the idea of spending an hour to talk about parenting (as opposed to sipping a nice cup of coffee before I go home) doesn’t quite appeal to me. I guess I will monitor my mental well-being and see how things go.

Thank you for reading my rant. I like that this site provides me a safe space to share my deepest, darkest thoughts.



SN: Elevating Shitposting To Cathartic Connections

By all accounts, SN should have failed. I should know because I speak from experience. I spent too much time shitposting on r/cryptocurrency to farm their in-house currency called Moons.

Banter was fun and sometimes, I even picked up knowledge. But it kinda felt like a dog-eat-dog world there. You have to gauge the sentiment on the sub. Post at the wrong time, and you will be greeted by downvotes. It seems that some people rampantly downvote others in order to get a bigger share of the Moons pie for themselves. Trample on others to benefit yourself.

Toxic much, huh?

I took the downvotes like a pro, but on hindsight, I think it might have poisoned my mind a little and given me a tainted understanding of human nature. I thought the world is consumed by greed because of inflation and depreciation. And who am I to judge, because I’m just looking out for myself too. Self-preservation mode.

This explains why I was baffled for the longest time. Stackers write freakishly long essays to expound on their experiences and opinions. How do you guys find the time and energy? Why do you guys care so much? It cannot just be the promise of sats. Even if you get a thousand sats for your post - which I think is above the median sats for a post here, it still doesn’t pay enough for a cup of coffee in many countries.

I got fresh insights on my question recently. It began when someone gave me a huge zap and encouraged me to zap Stackers more. So I did. I set my default zap to 168 and realised something I didn’t expect. When I zap others more sats, it just seems natural for me to flesh out my thoughts. I take myself more seriously. Suddenly, I have so much to say! To share!

And I think these thorough insights and lived experiences are the greatest strength of Stacker News. Stackers may not be purely driven by the promise of sats even. I write longer comments these days because I trust that when I put myself out here, my words will resonate with a Stacker or two and prompt them to respond. That what I give out is proportional to what I will receive. That I will gain either different perspectives or validation of my opinions - either way honours the time and energy I spend typing out my comments. 

SN is a Proof of Work system, isn’t it?  That we work hard to ensure the smooth operation of this circular economy instead of writing cheap comments like wen lambo and siphoning off all the sats, thus depriving others of oxygen.

Feels as fresh as a terrarium and I hope it stays this way.

Have a good day, lads. I’m off to zap some posts!

My tips to cope with parenthood

First things first, perhaps I’m not the best person to comment on this topic. In a moment of weakness, I confessed my deepest and darkest thoughts regarding my parenting journey: https://stacker.news/items/304937. I don’t enjoy the struggle.

But perhaps it’s precisely because I don’t enjoy parenting that much that what I have to share becomes valuable because I’m battling hard not to slip into an abyss of regret and loathing. 

Many Stackers reached out to me and provided lots of useful suggestions. I have compiled them in this post: https://stacker.news/items/308705. Since parenting is an individual journey, I just wanna add my two sats’ worth to the list.

1. Invest in time-saving technologies

2 kids and no helper/nanny. Cleaning takes up a chunk of our everyday life, so all these new age electrical appliances will relieve some stress from the hectic routine. We got a robotic cleaner for free from a friend. Although I hardly use it, it’s comforting to know that it’s there. We do use the dishwasher and washing machine-cum-dryer every day. My wife is now contemplating a bigger dishwasher. Also, my household has bought digital locks for the front door. Honestly, I think they are are a waste of money, but if my wife derives some happiness from not having to lug keys around, I sure as hell won’t say nope.

2. Get your shit sorted out

Not just the big things like making a will and opening savings accounts and investing into your children’s college funds. Also spend time on decluttering your life. I have not particularly succeeded at all aspects of my life, but I now know where every single piece of my clothing is. My clothes are sorted by colour. Gasp. Papers are the hardest because I work as a teacher and love to hoard resources. Still, I am working towards knowing where every document is in my home. Having exhibited more control over my mess, I find that these days, I have more resources to deploy on my kids. Bonus in my situation because I can recycle my preloved papers for a few cents in my country.

3. Embrace the act of tidying up

You will be surprised by how fast books and toys multiply in your house. Your child will get showered with presents from well-meaning family and friends - and it’s not always easy to say nope to them. So you have to deal with their shit (metaphorical) as well. Welcome to this:

![IMG_0498.jpeg](https://m.stacker.news/13429)

When your children are too young to clean up after themselves and your wife is burnt out doing other things, you got to rise to the occasion. What motivates me is the conviction that I want my son to feel for himself how being organised smoothens his life. He knows where his toys are because I have assigned a home for each of his prized possessions. I also pair tidying up with certain habits. Sometimes I let my mind go free and brainstorm of articles to write. Other times, I may just binge-watch Netflix. Yet other times, I will listen to podcasts on Fountain. The more you embrace tidying up, the less irritated you will get when your kids inevitably mess up.

4. Make your kids fall in love with cleaning 

Last weekend, my son just took the mop and wet wipe and mopped our living room floor. He must be observing how we clean the household every day and wants to get a piece of the action as well! Children usually find household chores fun. Keep it that way for them. The more you can lean on them, the less you need to do for them. 

5. Make sure your child learns something every day

Due to the craziness and chaos of parenting, it’s very easy to fall into the daily grind and feel like a hamster. Case in point: we used to read to our son nightly but stopped this practice after our baby girl had come into the picture. I cope better with parenting when I cultivate an atmosphere of growth. So I bring a flashcard when I pick my son up from the child care centre. Yes, just one flashcard. So my boy knows how to spell z-o-o and recognise 河马 (hippopotamus in Chinese). I feel proud and that spurs me on.

6. Schedule meetups with your parents and children

This assuages my guilt of not spending enough time with my father. My son still wants to hold my hand at all times, but I find that just having my dad around is a breather. Find your village and activate them as often as you can.

I hope these tips help someone else out there. Hang in there.

Flaunt your proud parenting stories

My son is into drawing these days. For one of his drawings, he wanted to spell my name that consists of the letter L. I guess he wants to dedicate it to me.

The thing is, I speak mostly Mandarin to him, so he wouldn’t know how to write L if I describe the steps in English. So I called out the strokes in Chinese, “竖横” (vertical n horizontal).

As you can see from the photo, he managed to do it!

![IMG_0720.jpeg](https://m.stacker.news/14721)

Over to you!

What does your perfect work day look like? 

Though I must make things clear. Today didn’t go perfectly.

But somehow, I’m in a ridiculously good mood. Trying to unpack the reason(s) why as I pen my thoughts down.

I only had two hours of free time (including my lunch hour) today. After school, I couldn’t focus on my work either because I had to supervise my dancers for their upcoming performance. (In case you are wondering, nope I don’t teach them dance. I just provide them with moral and emotional support as their coaches push them to deliver their best haha.) 

I started out by writing a heartfelt thank you note to the four educators who observed my lesson last Wednesday. They delivered positive feedback and constructive criticism in spades, so it was nice to start the day with something life-affirming.

I then took the time to display my students’ work on a whiteboard located along the corridor:

![IMG_1816.jpeg](https://m.stacker.news/27606)

During a lesson, I got my literacy coaching student to make two YouTube shorts so as to facilitate his acquisition of *said* and *little*.

During the Dance Club session, I wrote an email to the literacy support team and suggested that we needed to enforce that our weakest progress students learn the irregular past tense verbs on the Dolch list. All 33 of them:

![5d4fcd69-bcf7-4d28-90e4-60da979cc3b3.jpeg](https://m.stacker.news/27607)

Time flew by in a flash and during the last 15-30 minutes, I was rushing to churn out an email to invite the entire school staff to observe my lesson this Friday.

As I left home, I asked the Saloon whether they know the difference between -ful and -ous. I got an answer right away! 

Now I’m home earlier than usual and speedwriting this post. My wife is working overtime today, but because I have some buffer, I think I can change shower feed two kids all by myself. I’m a superhuman parent.

**Thank you for enduring my verbal diarrhoea**. I think I can determine the elements that contribute towards a satisfying work day for me:
- fun & creativity (getting my student to do the YouTube shorts)
- doing something unorthodox & high-impact (inviting the staff to observe my classroom makes a powerful statement!)
- speaking my truth (about how the weakest progress students should be *forced* to learn 33 irregular past tense verbs)
- learning a cool fact about affixes (thanks to carlosfandango!)
- having time to write something personal for SN 
- not feeling rushed about parenting

Seems like I have distilled the elements of a successful work day for myself. How about you? 



What’s the V4V you bring to the table?

Those who have been lamenting that writing is a lost art have evidently never visited Stacker News. Here, people who don’t consider themselves writers will awe you by the effort they put into their writing. Individuals who seem more comfortable with coding and programming type up long chunks of text from the books they’re reading - and then include their reflections and recommendations. As if this isn’t enough, they include footnotes to denote other things that they want to share but not deemed crucial enough in their long text.

Take that, frivolous soundbites on IG and TikTok! Stacker News exemplifies how people doggedly apply the V4V method. That if they contribute their useful insights and focus on providing something of value, other Stackers will respond in kind. Sats showers will fall in the form of furious zaps.

I’m curious to know what the other examples of V4V you demonstrate in your real life, be professional or personal. What’s something you seek to do differently from your colleagues and friends so that you can stand out from the competition and be known for excellent service? How do you put your stamp on things so that others know that you have done something unique and fabulous? 

handsome_latino

Share your superhuman parenting stories!

Sometimes, you just need a fresh pair of lens to evaluate your situation and calibrate your inner self. I have to give credit to @handsome_latino for the “superhuman” analogy. He mentioned about how not being a parent will make him miss out on the chance to do extraordinary stuff. 

I have taken his words to heart. Putting on this lens puts a wry smile on my face, even if I sigh deeply about missing out on my social life and hustling my boy to pee faster so that we can shower and sleep haha.

Anyway, it’s TGIF. I’m on my way to my workplace and am ready to unwind and have a laugh by reading your superhuman parenting tales! Here are some I have compiled mentally in my head so far:

- Was able to unzip and zip to pee even though my baby girl was strapped to my chest

- Keeping my cool during dinner when my baby girl was screaming and demanding to feed herself, and my boy was playing with his truck on the dining table and refusing to feed himself

- Feeding my baby girl milk while fending off my boy who wanted his diaper to be changed NOW! because he had pooped

- Not losing my cool when my boy keeps asking Why?! to whatever answers I offer him. HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING, YOUNG PUNK?

Let’s see if your stories can jog my memory to come up with more!

10 days of SN zapping in the big leagues 

It all started when I posted about my SN routine on 19 Jan and shared how I use 500 sats as play money to comments on Stackers’ stuff. Someone felt that I was not optimising the value I could get from the SN rewards - and proceeded to zap me a huge sum. He did so to encourage me to raise my default zap and see what would happen.

Some background reading is in order: https://stacker.news/items/287074. @Undiscipined shared how he feels like he is getting more sats than he is dishing out. Again, the same call to action to raise our default zap.

It has been ten days since I received the zap. What has happened since then? 

Well, I did raise my default zap. Rather erratically because I raised it to 168, felt poor and lowered it to 108, and subsequently had a F*** It moment and raised it again to 218. Of course, sometimes when I feel really poor, I lean back on 28 for a bit until I gain enough sats and then venture out into the big leagues again. 

Lessons learnt: these days, I can just zap 218 without hesitation because I feel that I have received enough sats airdrops (and trust that I won’t be left out to dry if I zap others relentlessly). My trust in the behaviour of other Stackers has increased - and I try to reciprocate this trust. Zapping others more also increases my satisfaction with SN. I’m pretty sure that I’m the only zapper for some posts. It makes me glad that I’m doing something to spread the zaps.

Okay, how about the rewards I gain every day from the pool? Data from ten days after I received the huge zap:

20 Jan - 834 sats
21 Jan - 740 sats
22 Jan - 3741 sats
23 Jan - 3860 sats
24 Jan - 6036 sats
25 Jan - 2530 sats
26 Jan - 5384 sats
27 Jan - 3762 sats
28 Jan - 428 sats
29 Jan - 6807 sats

Lessons learnt: zapping is a labour of love because on certain days, I didn’t get back 1,000 sats despite my higher default zap. Maybe not many people donated to the reward pools on those days? Or maybe my zapping behaviour of 168 sats only got rewarded on my 3rd day because of the time settings in which the zaps are collected and distributed? So, you are going to add unnecessary stress to yourself if you zap a high amount and expect the Universe to respond in kind. On the flip side, just because you get a “bad” day of rewards doesn’t mean you should revert to a low default zap. Ngl, the feeling of getting thousands of sats never gets old!

![IMG_0651.png](https://m.stacker.news/14231)

Lessons learnt: I think as you can deduce from my picture, your zapping behaviour needs to be complemented with regular posting behaviour. (Yes, I posted three times within 24 hours. Practically expend all my creative energies here, lol.) I don’t think I would qualify to receive thousands of sats if I just rely on commenting alone. Something for you to take note when you raise your higher default amount.

Conclusion: two words. Have fun! 🤩 

SN Cowboy Hat: A Case Study in Motivation

These days, there are many guides and experiments that enlighten Stackers how best they can obtain a cowboy and hold on to it. Back in September, I was completely clueless about this feature. I was just shooting bullets in the dark, hoping to land on bull’s eye. Which of course didn’t happen at times.

It was such a bewildering process. One time last September, I even wrote about this engima in what I hoped was a tongue-in-check manner: https://stacker.news/items/264047.
@Darthcoin then extended an invitation for me to join the lads at the Saloon. 

Which I did, because I thought that was the magic pill of keeping my cowboy hat. I’m from Singapore and  we have a Singlish word which encapsulates our psyche: kiasu. It means to be afraid to lose out to others. I don’t know what the cowboy hat is all about but I definitely want it when others have it!

Subsequently, I grew wiser to the ways of this site and learnt that I could probably hang on to a cowboy hat if I zapped Stackers consistently. My motivation was still extrinsic-dominated. I saw the cowboy hat as a status symbol. That others might zap me because my views were somehow deemed more relevant than when I didn’t wear a hat. Seeking attention in a non-flashy way, I guess?

I made it to 8 days. Got cocky and thought I would definitely make it to 9 days - and promptly lost it.

I then pulled back for a while. I’m not quite sure why. Disappointed? It wasn’t as if I hadn’t tried. Maybe I was trying to absorb the impact this curveball had given me.

Eventually, I thought I would give it another go. After all, SN is the funnest way of stacking sats. xP Suffice it to say that I was on high alert. I made it to 10, then 20. Today marks the 30th day of wearing my cowboy hat.

I mean, it isn’t in the bag here because who knows, I may drop it at the 29th mark. But you betcha I would be commenting and zapping like crazy after I publish this post.

Gradually, I felt a shift in my soul. The cowboy hat transformed into a source of pride. That despite all of life’s challenges, I had the bandwidth to write (admittedly not so great posts at times). That I had the capacity to remain curious about others. That I was able to prioritise my time and energy and exchange dialogue with people on issues that matter to me.

My cowboy hat tells me that I’m strong. tenacious. go-getter. All the positive attributes that boost my self-image.

I’m determined to hold on to my cowboy hat for as long as I can!

Have you experienced a similar shift from extrinsic motivation to intrinsic motivation? 


Where was the last time you felt unbridled joy buying something?

Chinese New Year (CNY)  really left an impact on my son. He was captivated by lion dancing, a passion he followed keenly by watching lion dancers strut their stuff on YouTube.

It wasn’t long before he clamoured to buy his own lion dance head. He has too many toys already, but his defence *I don’t have a lion dance toy!* was impenetrable in his mind. Eventually, my wife and I gave in.

I’m an unorthodox parent in the sense that I allow my son to spend his CNY ang bao money 🧧. He was informed that he would need to use his ang bao money, which he agreed enthusiastically. Oh, what do children know about money at their impressionable age? 

We ordered a lion dance head online. From then on, he relentlessly asked when it would arrive. Every day, we would explain that it would take some time for the parcel to be shipped over from China. But his incessant questions never stopped.

The lion dance head arrived yesterday. Boy, was he overjoyed. He kept jumping up and down as I struggled to tear it apart. He gleefully held it in his hands, ecstatic to be acquainted with his new toy. He even generously shared it for a while with his baby sister - before taking back possession of it ofc. It was 35 bucks well spent for him.

![74bcd9d3-08d0-49dc-bab6-fa24519571ec.jpeg](https://m.stacker.news/23041)

This got me thinking. Where was the last time I really felt elated buying something? With all the logical talk of budgeting and focusing on needs, spending money has become a perfunctory exercise. Save to invest. Spend wisely. All these mantras have jostled the joy of spending out of my mind. 

I hope my son never holds back from spending money on things he knows he will love ❤️. It’s part of being carefree.

Eghigc

How Japanese parents raise their kids

@cleaningup12 asked me what does parenting in Japan look like. This gives me the opportunity to reflect on how my wife raises my kids - and whether there are just good universal parenting methods or best practices used by the Japanese. Here goes.

My Baby Girl Watches TV
You know how it’s not encouraged to let infants below one year watch television because the dazzling visual stimulus will affect their brain development.

Which is sound advice by the WHO but practically impossible to implement in my household. 

Thankfully, the Japanese have made television programmes specifically aimed for kids aged 0-2 years old, so honestly sometimes we “dump” our daughter in front of the TV set while we busy ourselves with the chore. I feel zero guilt because knowing the Japanese, I’m confident that they have done research into making great educational content for babies.

Here’s an article about how a non-Japanese spouse came around to the idea of letting her baby watch TV: https://tinytotintokyo.com/japanese-educational-tv-shows-for-babies-and-toddlers

Expressing Thanks
Japanese people love their food. Seriously. If you stay in Japan for several months, you will be surprised by the wide array of cooking programmes on their TV. Ngl, I thought that they are superficial for being so obsessed with food, but I have since come to understand their respect for farmers and chefs who dedicate their lives to perfecting their produce and dishes.

Anyway, that’s why I think this profound respect for food is translated into the rituals the Japanese take on at the dining table. We raise our kids to say Itadakimasu (Let’s eat) at the start of a meal as well as Gochiso samadeshita (Thank you for the good food) at the end. 

My baby girl is conditioned to do so because if she doesn’t clap her hands at the start 👏, she doesn’t get her food. Haha. Which she is very willing to do so, because she has inherited the eating gene from her mum.

Expressing thanks isn’t confined to mealtimes, either. I’m now getting my boy to practice Danshari, the art of throwing things as a means of decluttering. Before he parts with a toy and throws it into a bin, we all say “Arigato gozaimasu” for the good memories it has given us.

Celebrating Milestones
I’m sure Western parents take their precious to a studio for a photo shoot when their child turns one. Japanese parents do this and then some.

Besides the one-month photo shoot, we also celebrated Tango-no-sekku (端午の節句) on May 5. My parents-in-law posted a samurai figurine all the way from Japan to us:

![IMG_0621.png](https://m.stacker.news/13880)

Source: https://yjc.tokyo/japanese-culture-childrens-day-2022

Since my boy turns five this year, we are looking forward to celebrating the Shichi-go-san festival on November 15. My boy will wear traditional regal-looking clothing called hakama - and we will visit a temple near our home to pray for his good health and longevity. Even though we are based in Singapore, my wife is determined to bring this tradition alive for my boy.

I hope this piece enlightens you somewhat! 

How resilient are you? 

It is that time of the year. My school is organising a GRIT (Growing Resilience In Teens) camp. 

For my secondary one students, they had to work together to orienteer to various checkpoints yesterday. Since they misread the map a couple of times, everyone easily clocked more than 10k steps because we kept having to retrace our steps. 

Today, we did dragonboating in the morning. For the uninitiated, it involves a group of people synchronising their movements to paddle a dragon-shaped boat. I acquired a nice tan under the hot sun. In the afternoon, we didn’t have to do orienteering, but the camp instructors led us through an urban hiking route that involved walking. Not as much as yesterday, but by the time we reached our destination, several students were so dog-tired that they raised their legs on the outdoor bench (presumably to facilitate the flow of blood to their brains).

Anyway, I saw their chaos unfold before me and decided to call for an impromptu Circle Time session so that I could say stuff that would give meaning to their “suffering”. I mentioned about an unforgettable incident when I was serving in the army. As an Armour Infantry soldier, I had to secure a godforsaken corner of the forest in the wee hours of the morning, lonely and hungry and shivering. But because this incident tested my physical limits to the max, I could always recount on it whenever I am going through hard times. So I expressed hopes that my students would remember this GRIT camp in future whenever they encounter challenges.

I even concluded my facilitation by getting the class chairman to come up with an emotionally stirring positive statement “I CAN DO IT!”

After returning to school, I happened to have time to declutter my notes. I came across articles that say how children develop coping strategies more effectively when their teachers share their experiences. So I guess I was on the right track even though I was improvising.

The thing is, I don’t feel very resilient because I am currently struggling with parenthood. Although my mental health has improved since the time I wrote about being burnt out, sometimes my heart aches so much for my lost social life that I just want to shout hysterically at the Universe.

I guess when I have to model resilience in front of my students, I fake it pretty well. Haha.

Do you think you are resilient? Any thing you are doing to burnish your resilience?

Tips to cope with parenthood

In a particularly frustrating moment, I threw caution to the wind and wrote about my struggles as a father: https://stacker.news/items/304937/r/cryotosensei. I didn’t expect many Stackers to read it actually, so I was floored and bowled over by the outpouring of good advice, support and encouragement. Even the more critical ones were written with compassion and well wishes. I can’t exactly explain why, but my heart feels so much lighter this week.

I digested every comment and pondered it over and over again. Thank you for sharing a piece of your heart.

Tips to Cope with Parenthood

1. Talk to a counsellor
2. Talk to older fathers who have experience you don’t have yet
3. Have a heart-to-heart talk with your wife, even if the conversation is going to be difficult
4. Break the mundane routine. Embark on adventures with your children.
5. Get a baby sitter and take an hour or 2 with your wife
6. Collaborate with other parents to take turns to look after each other’s children. Schedule play dates
7. Spend less time on social media and focus on being present for your kids
8. Wake up earlier than the rest of the household and do something that fills your cup
9. Reset your priorities and cut out the things you used to love doing but aren’t the best use of your time. 
10. Think about the alternative. Do you really want to usher in old age, having focused on your career but still unceremoniously disposed of by the workplace because you are increasingly seen as irrelevant?
11. Read to make your mind feel relaxed.
12. Similarly, instil a love of reading in your child so that he will want to read non-stop (and give you some space in the process).
13. Trust that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Remember the Stoic philosophy - (“the obstacle is the way”). 
14. Hang in there. Hang in there. Hang in there.

And yes, I will schedule a counselling session soon. Many thanks.

SN: Labour of Love

Frankly speaking, if you were into SN just for the sats, you would find that it isn’t lucrative. Even if you garner 1000 sats for your post - a target that is fairly hard to attain - you can’t even buy a cup of coffee. So SN isn’t the place to be if you want to increase your income-earning potential.

Then why do Stackers post long posts and comments even if it isn’t the most financially rewarding? There could be many reasons: the drive to keep your cowboy hat, the feeling that you want to project some kind of sophisticated image, the cathartic effects of writing. But perhaps it all boils down to the ethos Bitcoiners hold dear.

It’s manifested in the way Stackers go the extra mile to orange pill merchants, hoping to release others from the shackles of fiat.

It’s manifested in the way you willingly invest the time and energy to run your own node, never mind that it may take years for it to become profitable.

It’s manifested in the way you organise info sessions and workshops, hoping to reach out to non-Bitcoiners and make them take the scary first step.

Things that are labour-intensive but don’t deter you because you frame it as a labour of love.

Labour of love.

And perhaps since this Labour of Love spirit is embedded within your ethos, it is second nature for you to demonstrate it here.

To expound on your experiences even though your comment won’t pay the bills.

To share your POV even though you are facing time pressures and sleep debt. 

To run a territory at a loss because you value the conversations it generates.

Stacker News seems to demand a lot out of us than your typical social media platform. But you gleefully call this place home. 

Yeehaw 🤠 

This will be my 1st 100k sats post on SN

Bold words, Sensei. Do you have the big idea to match?

I believe I do.

The genesis for my idea was planted when I wanted to sell my book called Happy the Hippo. @siggy47 promoted it on his ~BooksandArticles newsletter, @AG promoted it on Nostr & @Design_r volunteered to give me design tips.

Imagine.

We have so much talent here. If we pool our strengths together and embark on a cross-collaboration, we will generate waves in the BTC space.

But what product?

I suggest creating a book of testimonials tentatively titled Creating Content & Stacking Sats on Stacker News. Just use the search button; we already have plenty of testimonials.

Some examples:
1. My first year on Stacker News by siggy47 (https://stacker.news/items/182682)

2. Reddit is dead…Long live Stacker News by @benwehrman (https://stacker.news/items/313773)

3. I stacked 40 thousand sats on Stacker News more than my entire life on Twitter by @piecover (https://stacker.news/items/342757)

We can just use these testimonials. @gnilma and @carlosfandango enlightened me recently that once something is published on the Internet, it should be considered as free-for-all information. Of course, we can do the proper thing and ask the Stackers who have written these testimonials for permission to publish them.

Why testimonials?
Because we are wired to remember stories. Stories that create emotional resonance will be more effective calls to action than paid Fountain ads. Especially if we publish these testimonials without heavy editing - they will be truly authentic.

We can invite 15-30 Stackers to publish their testimonials in a book. These testimonials should be of varied lengths and formats to make reading them Exciting. Other Stackers can contribute by coming up with the cover page and illustrations. Once the book is finalised, all Stackers can promote it using their referral link.

We want to create something substantially V4V so that the big companies will take note. When we invest proof of work to come up with something jaw-dropping, we will end up with high impact. Perhaps these big firms will want to advertise with us. Perhaps influential names in the BTC space will want to organise AMAs here. Maybe Michael Saylor will set up his personal blog here.

It sounds like a massive labour of love. But we don’t have to take on such a huge undertaking at once. We can test the market by coming up with a preview comprising 3 testimonials. Use it to generate hype and ascertain interest. Tweak this idea based on audience reactions. Fast iterations help keep the dream alive as we are breaking down a Herculean task into actionable steps.

My two sats’ worth 

Taking a step back to rethink Generative AI

Last month, I was invited to do a sharing on “Leveraging ChatGPT in Teaching and Learning” at a gathering aimed at educators in my fraternity. It seemed that I was one of the forerunners of this technology.

As a harried teacher, I use ChatGPT a lot in my daily work. Nonetheless, as I was creating a poster on Canva to complement my sharing, I was surprised to see a feature “Magic Write” being incorporated into the system. Another related incident - my colleague got me to download an app called SwiftKey. It granted me access to Microsoft Bing, which could rewrite my WhatsApp text messages in any tone that I fancied. Generative AI is really a game-changer.

Now that my sharing is done and dusted, I can’t help but ponder about the hidden effects ChatGPT and other chat bots could have on our lives. Since these platforms can rewrite our prose, the shift has suddenly changed from honing our writing skills to crafting effective prompts for ChatGPT. Outsourcing the heavy lifting of ensuring that our prose flows fluently. Not cracking our brain cells to express our inner voice anymore.

Honestly, I am appreciative of how ChatGPT can help to polish my emails to the entire school staff within minutes. It prevents me from making embarrassing mistakes due to lapses in tone. However, when it comes to my personal writing, can I in all good conscience accept ChatGPT’s edits as my original work? Even if I prompt it to preserve my inner voice, do I really claim full ownership of the final product ChatGPT churns out?

Yet, society is moving ahead at a relentless pace. Everyone is striving to beat the competition. No one seems to ponder about such existential issues. One of the largest local banks in my country, OCBC Bank, has launched its own version of ChatGPT for its employees. It can serve multiple purposes, helping staff to write code, make summaries of voice calls and financial reports as well as extract information from company documents. The gauntlet has been thrown. Jump on the bandwagon or risk being left behind.

As a teacher, I am not that conflicted about ChatGPT though. My job is to prepare my students to lead happy and healthy lives when they grow up. So, this means preparing them to adapt according to where the winds of circumstance blow them to. I do use ChatGPT in front of my students; I believe my value-add lies in guiding them how to write effective prompts.

As a passionate wordsmith, I remain skeptical of the impact ChatGPT will have on my muse. Just yesterday, I compiled a list of paragraphs ChatGPT had generated to improvise my writing and asked it to pick up the top ten nouns, verbs, adjectives and collocations it used for the rewriting. I noticed that it has its biases - it likes to suggest words like “captivated” and “enchanting” to improve my writing. I want to remain fully cognisant of its preferences so that I don’t unwittingly produce repetitive writing.

This reflection was 💯 human-generated, warts and all.

suraz

SN Defying Conventional Parenting Advice

Last November, I broke and confessed [the extent to which I hated parenting](https://stacker.news/items/304937). It seems fitting that I’m penning this out at the same indoor playground. Only, my mental health should have improved since then. I’m sipping a cup of juice while typing this, and my boy is playing blissfully inside.

But that’s not the reason why I’m writing this today. I write because I think I have gained some clarity over these few months and can express in words what I couldn’t before.

I received a lot of support and useful advice. [In fact, I compiled Stackers’ suggestions in a post titled *Tips to cope with parenthood*](https://stacker.news/items/308705 ) But one piece of advice struck me as ill-fitting to my situation. Some Stackers suggested that since I was being put through the fire, I should reduce the amount of time I spend on social media, including Stacker News.

Thanks to SN, I have effectively dropped FB and IG from my doomscrolling routine. Given that I was placed 12th during last month’s Million Sats Madness and am likely to place 20th this month, I think I spend an inordinate amount of time here. However, SN fulfills certain needs that I cannot fill in my real life, so it’s a great investment of time and energy.

*Sharing with fellow dads*

Some Stackers noted that I sound isolated, and to a certain extent, I agree with them. It isn’t the fact that I’m not surrounded by people. After all, I work at a school and engage with staff and students all the time. But honestly, amidst the daily grind, how many of us can have the luxury to confide in fellow parents about our struggles and triumphs in parenting? It’s a mad rush going from lessons to meetings and case conferences. My mind feels as busy as a bee, trying to tick all the tasks off my to-do list. Stacker News has made me feel part of a **parenting community**. I share my stories and listen to yours. The other day, I posted about [being a superhuman parent.](https://stacker.news/items/401283) I shamelessly sucked up the praise and encouragement like how a giraffe spreads its legs to drink water. Effortful but I will exert myself to absorb the praise because I want to feel like I have conquered something! 

*Learning from your wisdom*

What’s awesome about SN is that it attracts Bitcoiners from diverse backgrounds and nationalities. Each of you brings a unique V4V to the table, just by being yourself. A noteworthy example is learning from @suraz how mint would help individuals cope better with irritable bowel syndrome. The funny thing is, I forwarded his explanation to my Co-Form Teacher who happens to be an accomplished chef. He has no idea on the healing properties of mint. This is just an example of how SN has broadened my knowledge. Your insights may not be specific to the field of education, but I feel that I’m a better educator as a result of receiving these myriad insights. One of these days, someone will call me a walking encyclopaedia!

*Other Benefits*

- Posting photos here means I can delete them on my phone, which makes me feel lighter, like less things crowding my overstretched mind.

- Gaining zaps helps me settle some real-life bills, which helps me save more for my children’s college funds. 

*Final Thoughts*

Stacker News is an invaluable resource for stressed-out parents. Use it judiciously.

![IMG_8810.png](https://m.stacker.news/26304)

My lessons from parenting. What’s yours?

This post is inspired by kr’s sharing of [Bill Walsh’s Standards of Performance](https://stacker.news/items/445150). Bill’s lessons derived from attaining excellence reminded me of the lessons shared by [Naval Adm. William H. McRaven](https://news.utexas.edu/2014/05/16/mcraven-urges-graduates-to-find-courage-to-change-the-world/ ) in regards to being a Navy Seal. Both are fascinating reads.

But then, I thought, this is absurd. Parenting is the hardest job in the world. Not to trivialise these gentlemen’s experiences, but why isn’t there any popularised account of lessons derived from the art and science of parenting? Or at least, I can’t think of one off-hand.

So why don’t I write my own?

Here goes.

**1. I’m less important than I think**

I teach in a low-progress school and used to shake my head whenever my students had school refusal and skipped school due to various reasons. I used to think that the parents or guardians of these students were not trying hard enough. 

I quickly realised that children have their own minds. Instantly humbled when I could not get my 3-year-old son to shower, no matter how hard I cajoled or threatened. I might be the one responsible for bringing him into this world, but I don’t own him.

**2. I’m more important than I realise**

Point 2 kinda contradicts Point 1, but hear me out. Just because you can’t control your kids doesn’t mean you don’t have influence over them. Just give of your best every day - and certain things you do will rub off on your children. To this day, my heart is warmed whenever my boy takes the wiper sheet and proceeds to mop the floor. That’s what I do almost every night! He learns from me!

**3. Maintaining my composure is a game**

Picture this. Close to 11pm, and your boy is talking gibberish and acting hyperactive because he hasn’t had his afternoon nap. He refuses to go and shower. These are instances in which I feel my blood pressure rise and entertain the temptation of shouting at him. But if I shout at him, I will make things worse. He will cry, and things will get delayed, and the mood in the household will grow sour as quickly as bananas turn bad. Not cool. Best to smile at him and make light of things, especially when I don’t want to.

**4. I need to listen to my gut instinct**

For work, I’m increasingly expected to use data-driven, evidence-based approaches. Let me tell you, sometimes in parenting, you need to make spilt-second decisions. Otherwise, you will be treated to full-blown tantrums. There were times in which I amused myself by saying or doing the right thing to pacify an angry child before he went out of control. It’s amazing how my gut just took over and hollered to my brain, “YOU NEED TO DO THIS!”

**5. I need to be gracious about doing the things I don’t fancy doing**

Honestly, I can think of 1001 things I would rather do than pore over the tiny instruction manual and figure out how to stack small LEGO blocks together. (Those big LEGO blocks don’t trigger me as much.) Or to figure out how to make a DIY train composed of recycled milk cartons. But when my prince submits his order, I jolly well deliver if I don’t want to be bombarded by his incessant requests. (Kids can be darned persistent!) So, I stifle my frown and get down to work. It’s the only way.

I can’t think of more parenting lessons right now. Plus, I think I should engage my baby girl now. I leave it to you parenting veterans to fill in the gaps and spill the beans, alrighty?

Do you zap people who don’t zap back?

Last week, I hosted a Japanese professor who visited my school. She shared that when her elderly mother in her 80s visited Singapore, they were surprised by how Singaporeans readily gave up their seat on public transport to her ageing mum. She was amazed by our graciousness because this is unlikely to happen in Japan.

I was sorry to burst her bubble, but clarified that this stage of graciousness was the result of many years of concerted public campaigning. Our metro system has mascots to deliver the message of giving up seats to elderly people, pregnant ladies and disabled people. The end seat of every carriage is specially designated for these groups of individuals who need the seat more. Through such targeted initiatives, Singaporeans’ behaviour changed for the better gradually.

Which leads to the act of zapping on SN. I think it is perceived differently by different people. Some people are hesitant to zap responses because they are scared that they will be taken advantage of, that other Stackers flock to comment on their posts because of this inherent expectation of being zapped. Others will zap back as a token of appreciation. 

I belong to the second camp, I guess. I think it’s only polite to zap back. In fact, I flirted with the idea of zapping a comment less than I would zap a post. But I soon abolished the idea because I found it troublesome to adjust my thinking. Anyway, who am I to say that comments are inherently worth less than posts? So I zap back as best as I can. 

I don’t have any expectations in regard to the amount. Obviously, a 300 sat zap will make me happy, but this isn’t to say that a 10 sat zap won’t. I’m mindful that some Stackers mayn’t post and comment much, so 10 sats is their way of demonstrating V4V. I accept all zaps with grace. 

I’m not so egoistic to stipulate that everyone whom I zap must zap me back. If you don’t find value in my comment, let’s all move on haha. But what I find peculiar is how some people’s stacking amounts heavily outweigh their spending amounts. Surely this means that they don’t zap anyone at all (or at most, a few lucky individuals).

Ordinarily I would have kept quiet and just concentrated on my stacking behaviour. But thanks to the Japanese professor’s observation, I’m reminded of how Rome wasn’t built in a day, of how Singaporeans put in the necessary proof of work to become more gracious. Wasn’t it Gandhi who said, “be the change you want to see in this world”? 

0xbitcoiner

SN Million Sats Madness: Scarcity or Abundance Mindset

Stacker News is experimenting with the way it distributes its rewards in March. It’s a go big or go home system - only the top 64 Stackers will be awarded sats at the end of the month. It’s a 31-day marathon, in which we must pace ourselves and zap others big and often.

Exciting times, huh?

I’m excited about this experiment because I love myself a good competition. But I guess I’m a bit anxious at the same time because the first time I did was to…

…lower my default zap to 28. ⚡️ 

The thought of not receiving Daily rewards is scary. I usually take some profits off my SN wallet and zap Stackers a portion of the rewards I receive later during the day. Not having this income feels like I have to power through a hectic workday without my COFFEE. Geez, am I gonna make it?

I thought not. That’s why I lowered it to 28. But then, I thought about it again. Is this how I wanna play this game? To offer a subdued version of myself, cowering in apprehension, half-obsessing about whether I have enough sats to last me through the month.

So, while this competition is about “competing” with others to emerge among the top 64, I found it intriguing at how it brought my inner demons to the fore. Why am I not afraid of having enough? 

Subsequently, I set it back to 108.

Because ultimately I subscribe to the abundance mindset. I probably won’t become wealthy in my lifetime, but I do believe that I will accumulate enough to give myself and my family a lifestyle that will enrich us. The Universe will provide for me if I submit to it my ingenuity and wits and determination. It will be the same for SN.

Ending this with a Zen proverb I read here recently: 

“Before enlightenment chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment chop wood, carry water.” ~ Zen Proverb

Just another day on SN. Just another day of stacking sats.

Passing some happy sats to @0xbitcoiner to alleviate his anxiety about not having enough 

