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OK, here's a blackpilled (bluepilled...? whatever pill I'm supposed to take here...), really tragic story from our beloved The Economist
I have lots to say about this topic, not all of it derived from a dispassionate rational analysis.

I don’t date conservative or moderate men,” says Nancy Anteby, a 30-year-old New Yorker who works in social media. “I only date liberal men.” Politics is not her only concern. She is also looking for someone ambitious, with a stable career, who is Jewish and, perhaps most important, shares her desire to start a family. Finding dates who tick all of these boxes is not easy.
Good luck with that, asshat.
What's wrong with this broken market?
The fact that a large proportion of single people would rather be in a relationship (whether they are still looking for one or have given up hope) suggests that either there is some sort of dating-market failure that is preventing compatible people from finding one another, or that society is changing in ways that are making large numbers of singles incompatible.
100%.

"Europe each new generation is less likely to be married or living with a partner than previous ones at the same age"

Here's a year-or-so outdated FT graph that keeps me up at night (not literally...)

"As men have drifted to the right and women have become more liberal in America and parts of Europe, politics is getting in the way of pillow-talk,”

Across the OECD on average 51% of women aged 25-34 had a university degree in 2019, compared with 39% of men. That makes the old pattern impossible to sustain. “Highly educated women who still want to marry up won’t find enough candidates,” says Albert Esteve, the director of the Centre for Demographic Studies in Barcelona. “So the question is, are they going to start marrying down?”
there are growing numbers of lonely hearts, pining for a partner but unable to secure one. Don’t want a ring on it: There is an alarming mismatch in this regard between women and men. In the Pew survey, 62% of single women did not want to date, whereas only 37% of single men felt the same way.
if mathematics were the only driving force, rather than cultural norms, there would have been a big rise in the share of couples where the woman is better educated. Yet the expectation that women should marry up is hard to dispel. Researchers in Germany, for example, found that highly educated women over the age of 30 were more likely to remain single than settle for a man with less education.
The raw mathematics imply that either large sways of impotent, underachieving men have to pull themselves up by their bootstraps (impossible, given the cultural norms and institutional barriers so strongly favoring women over men), or, the much more readily available opportunity: women widen their scope.

Have you tried feeling differently?

Do I blame women for this? Yeah, pretty much. But in a story as old as the Bible itself (#804036, #1011981)), men shrinking their responsibilities and women being placed in positions they’re not equipped to indicate a prior failing on the class of men themselves. Yes, it’s our fault. No, there’s nothing much we can do about it for this generation. Yes, the more readily available equilibrium solution is for women to change their goddamn minds and behavior.
Salty? Yes, absolutely. True? Probably.
Is the relationship market hopelessly broken? Undoubtedly.

106 sats \ 11 replies \ @Scoresby 4h
I'll add one to the sad list of reasons why people seem not to be finding relationships as much as they used to:
Waiting till you are old (I could have palliated this and said older, but who are we kidding: anyone over 30 is old) makes it harder to find a relationship.
When you are young, you are dumb, but also you aren't quite so firmly set in your ways. You haven't necessarily made your mind up about everything, or if you have, you don't have very well-considered opinions. Also, being young you are more concerned with sex than with being right. Plus, the dumbness of youth means you can't really fathom how awful your partner might turn out to be.
Get a little wisdom in your noggin, and some experience born of hard knocks, and maybe a win or two that makes you feel like you might actually know what you're talking about -- and it becomes very hard to find a partner who you think is your equal (and who will put up with you).
The message I received in my youth was don't worry about getting married young! Wait till you are well-established! Get a career going, maybe date around a little, figure it out in your thirties. That is shit advice. Get married when your young.
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Seconded (provided you found a right person)
The most important parts of your life, if you're lucky, will be your spouse and children. The sooner you get to those stages, the more of your life you get to bask in it.
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Yes, if you are lucky, but as the article and overwhelming evidence suggests the chances of finding the right person are not good.
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42 sats \ 3 replies \ @Scoresby 4h
At least some of that evidence may be swayed by the "right person" becoming a narrower field as one gets older.
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There's a reason I said "a right person" rather than "the right person"
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Touche!
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100%
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what he said
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Get a little wisdom in your noggin, and some experience born of hard knocks, and maybe a win or two that makes you feel like you might actually know what you're talking about -- and it becomes very hard to find a partner who you think is your equal (and who will put up with you).
fuck, this portion makes my heart sink. ugh.
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why? because you feel that way, or because you think women feel that way?
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I feel exactly that... very annoyed that I spent my prime matchmaking years (i.e., university) at the library rather than constantly at the social events. Completely misunderstood what the real purpose was... and now, here we are -.-
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Yes the feminist narrative of women being equal is conflated into women being educated and prepared for a career and so the smartest ones have invested too much in career to have children when they are best able to and so only the least intelligent women still have children young.
Feminism is just one manifestation of the disease of entitlement that corrupts a culture that has been dominant too long. The cult of the rights and entitlements of the individual ignores the duty and obligations of the individual to the society that has raised and supported them.
Most Libertarians will choke on that last sentence as Libertarian ideology is just as poisonous and drenched with the sense of individuals entitlement as feminism is. Both are diseases of the modern western civilisation and make it vulnerable to more unified and collectively minded cultures- primarily China.
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33 sats \ 3 replies \ @optimism 3h
I just worry that politics nowadays play a role in love. That is insane.
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100%.
I had two separate dates recently that opened with "compatibility questions." (When my ridiculing answers tripped up some preconceived, unintelligent conviction, it was the end of that exploration.) I haven't met the Nancy Anteby that The Economist article open with... but I've met several version of her.
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111 sats \ 1 reply \ @optimism 2h
"compatibility questions."
tf! I'd walk out on that, but then I don't do first dates even if I were in the market. First date has to be organic in any way. I will not take anyone on a date if I don't know them prior. Organic, or fuck off.
it was the end of that exploration
The only good thing about that is that at least you know that you've wasted your time.
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so insane. Surreal freakin experience
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I'm interested in why women have drifted so liberal. Is it their choice of college major? Social media consumption?
I think social media causes people to have sharper opinions than they otherwise would, because of the echo chamber effect. It centralizes the opinions within subgroups, but sharpens differences between subgroups.
Not sure what the answer is. Cultural decline probably. Oh well, Western civilization, you had a good run.
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It happens before college, but is obviously reinforced there.
There's a firehose of careerist antinatal propaganda aimed at girls and young women. It's so broadly incorporated in our culture that I don't think you can really parse out who the culprits are.
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Peer pressure and social status
Luxury beliefs aspirations
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66 sats \ 1 reply \ @h6j5dhc567g 3h
Avoid modern women at all costs.
The women were told you can do it you're the boss, you don't need a man, you can do anything a man can do.
Meanwhile ypung men were told, step aside let the women come through, you're a misogynist, you're an oppressor, you're controlling.
Young men didn't want to be framed like that, so they surrendered into this idea of being more vulnerable and emotional, to be revelant in this woke, inclusive, diverse era.
And that has made women hate men even more because the men are pantie wearing Nancy's
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step aside, siiiiir
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21 sats \ 0 replies \ @OT 53m
I saw that younger generations in the west are not drinking anymore. Maybe that could be part of the reason.
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You blame women but it’s the fault of men?
Men have not changed or maybe slightly
Women have changed significantly
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Education makes women unfit for raising children. The modern debt funded consumer based financialised economy provides them financial independence and encourages that financial independence (read dependence upon employment) as it boosts GDP. The western world cannot maintain its population and so imports labour to maintain/boost GDP, ultimately diluting its cultural integrity and unity. What happens when war breaks out with China and you find that the tech departments of your top stocks and universities are majority staffed by Chinese? The west cannot compete with Chinas mixed economy where industry is provided with lower priced inputs such as energy and labour and strategic investment by government in crucial technology like rare earths, robotics, infrastructure and energy generation and efficiency. The west is dying from its bloated sense of entitlement. Its Chinas turn to be the dominant and most sophisticated economy again, just as it was 500 years ago.
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The underlying issue is the idea of revealed preferences, that underpin economic theory and justify all of these systems. "Give the people what they want" is what the tech bros say to sooth their conscience so night.
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