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Forgive me for the rambling that follows. It is not meant as critique, nor complaint, but simply as an observation, one that is amusing to me.
I have been attending bitcoin meetups regularly for one year. There are several where I live (which is the reason I chose to live here) so in that year I've had a generous portion. I have learned a great deal and been fortunate enough to befriend a few people who also attend these. So let me be clear, I enjoy going to the meetups. But, I am not a dev. I am a woman. And I am a writer, which is to say that I have the solipsistic tendency.
For fun, I just want to welcome you inside my head at these functions for one moment, if you'll allow me.
A quote from The Great Gatsby comes to mind often when I am staring out alone at the sea of men around me, their conversations roaring over my head,
"High over the city our line of yellow windows must have contributed their share of human secrecy to the casual watcher in the darkening streets, and I was him too, looking up and wondering. I was within and without, simultaneously enchanted and repelled by the inexhaustible variety of life."
I often experience the energy that springs to life during our meetups as the casual watcher in the darkening streets. I think of the person who has no context whatsoever, and I am that person, in the deepest sense. I like this position, the within and without. I'm an introvert who pleasures in my own experience. At the same time, this emboldens me to act as the bridge between what is signified in our meetings and the outside world.
I guess what I'm saying is that given my perspective, I am uniquely positioned to extend understanding to a minor portion of the group of attendees who take themselves too seriously, and in doing so, brandish a punk attitude. I wanna talk to this minority on behalf of others, which may be wrong of me to do, but perhaps it will be an interesting talk anyway. It's this attitude that keeps you from seeing me, or others like me. It's this attitude that keeps us in the dark.
-Admittedly, these are some broad strokes I am painting with- What I have noticed is an atmosphere of importance ballooning around individuals, and all I'm saying is that balloon around you looks kinda silly, and it probably doesn't serve you in the end. I am not writing here to call anyone out. I'm only holding up a mirror. But like I said, I can extend understanding. Bitcoin is important, bitcoin is its own war of ideas. You need to protect your time and energy, and a lot of people come around whose hidden intentions are stanky and not worth a glance. Therefore, letting people prove their intentions over time and earn trust is the model for how this network operates, as interpersonally as it does computationally. So hardening yourself to new people who don't have a body of work behind them makes sense as a practice.
The danger in this practice, I believe, is that you stifle curiosity. You assume that you know where value comes from. You won't take the risk of excavating because you're convinced there's no gold. Translated: you won't ask a girl why she comes to meetups because of some assumption about what she understands. How can you be so sure?
Food for thought. I just think we can grow a lot more without the constraints of a rubbery balloon skin enclosed around us.
There is also a completely understandable alternative explanation for my observation, one that doesn't need to point any fingers at anyone's particular behavior at all, and so it is important to note here as well: People be busy.
Anyway, let me also say being a girl at a meetup is calm, it's not that deep.
TL;DR stay humble, stack sats.
Wow! Your perspective couldn't come at a better time for me personally. I don't want to dwell on your gender exclusively, since your points about the "chosen few" in a group ring true. Please bear with me. I attended my first in person meetup a few weeks ago. I actually wrote about it here. I noticed how few women were in attendance. My 22 year old daughter has some interest in learning about bitcoin, and almost decided to go with me the other night. She decided not to. She has seen a lot of toxicity towards women online, particularly reddit r/bitcoin, and didn't think she would be comfortable. I honestly don't blame her. I had a great time at my second meetup, but there were probably two women in a group of close to 100 people. I wish things were different.
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I don't blame her either. There's so many other things she could do with her time! The ratio of women interested is a difficult thing to talk about because the "what should be done" about it is totally ambiguous and in my view, unproductive. And you very quickly start to draw imaginary lines around genders. But something I may suggest, and I only just realize now that this is what I did, is that she finds a voice that she likes in the bitcoin space, and chooses the meetup where that speaker will be as her first meetup. I think it could mean the difference and be one level more comfortable.
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That's a good idea. I'll show her your post.
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  1. Bitcoin at first sight is quite technical. Most of womens are not so interested in technical aspects.
  2. Try to explain them how to spend btc and where yhry can buy shoes with bfc and you get 100% attention. I am not joking or discriminate them. This is mh personal experiencs from last 10 years onboarding people.
  3. The most brilliant women in bitcoinlandia are quiet and don't want to be / participate in meetups. They are coding/building
  4. I personally think that if more women will understand bitcoin we will have more adoption. Women are spenders. Men are savers. Think about that.
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most women are not interested in the technical aspects, try to explain how to buy shoes with btc and get 100% attention
gee, i wonder why some women don't feel respected in this space 🙄
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Ok commie
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perfect example! you see a lot of braindead takes around here, like believing women are intellectually equal to men somehow makes you a communist
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You are so right. There is just one thing that I always wondered about.
Why are there separate chess divisions for men and women ?
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jesus fucking christ.
i dunno dude, i guess it must be empirical evidence that men are intellectually superior to women.
or maybe it just means you're an incel ben shapiro wannabe who desperately needs to demean women as a means of justifying to yourself why none of them want anything to do with you.
definitely one of the two.
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there it is lmao you commies always insult the individual because you depend on the state and the state gets resources from all of us, thus- your way of life depends on others agreeing with you- and you turn to insults when there is disagreement or diversity of thought.
No, believing that women are the same as men really does make you a communist. Which is as accurate as saying a man can become a woman or that we should be focusing in on what a child has between their legs.
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ok incel
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Keep watching msnbc buddy
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You're psyopped by your worldview defined in opposition to the sjw's. Step out of your bubble and realize that most people aren't trying to get offended. You're just making a lot of noise because you feel offended.
I feel like I'm talking to an anti-sjw incel just because you're reacting the exact way they would if they got offended. Maybe you're so offended by us talking about this conversation because your mind is just as polluted as theirs is (just in the opposite direction). Ever think to look in the mirror one time? Just because you believe something to be the case doesn't give you the right to act like a total chode (just like the sjw's that you hate).
It's not 2018 anymore. Even women on college campuses aren't as offended as you are. Grow up.
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Lmao why so angry?
Is it actually controversial to say that women are rather preoccupied with things like shoes and makeup and talking about who is talking to who?
And is it helpful to adoption to not give that sort of information to people who want to know it?
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The caricature writes itself.
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Yeah imagine being a dude with a balanced worldview on Bitcoin social. It feels like I'm on 4chan /b/ talking to a bunch of waifu incels lmao
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This is mh personal experiencs from last 10 years onboarding people.
...but you forgot "the rule no.1": "Nothing induces a bigger annoyance than the Truth" ;)
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I was being trolled within like 2 posts when I first signed up for reddit, long after it was up and running, the place has never interested me. When I tried it, I discovered that it's one of those "social" websites that gives you no power to filter your feed or ignore people. And honestly, I bump into posts in my searches especially about golang stuff but almost never is really that useful source of information, though I know there is some experts in things there.
If that's something about being "balanced" I call bullshit, that's just straight up social domination and a bunch of pompous jerks dispensing their opinions as though anyone actually gives a fuck. It's a different story when the place is new and the system is still being built but Reddit is far past that and the place is a fucking nest of drones.
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The danger in this practice, I believe, is that you stifle curiosity. You assume that you know where value comes from.
This particular part hits close to home. When I'm at crypto meetups or events or just talking to crypto-pilled folks, if I lead conversation into what the Value of bitcoin is (ie what leads to its current USD price), I can sense people souring like I'm not a "true believer" and that makes me an outsider, even if I'm excited about the tech.
For example I was at that bitcoin bar near washington square park in new york recently. A bunch of crypto guys that worked for a bitcoin company that did something with L2 contacts (Stacks I think?) were there. We were having a good chat, I'm asking them questions. But I asked one of the guys something like "what are people using bitcoin for nowadays?," an honest question about what the typical use cases for bitcoin are in 2023. Like what is the purpose of the transactions they do, what are people using it for in their experience, who will be using their tools, or generally what is bitcoin being used for from what they can tell looking at the chain, etc.
The vibe shifted and they didn't give me a good answer. Someone said something about how it was used for NFTs a lot, but nobody really had an answer. It seemed like I was making them uncomfortable by asking questions around business cases for L2 contracts or generally what use-cases bitcoin had in their professional experience. Or maybe I was just reading the situation wrong.
Moreso than a lot of other industries and meetups I've had experience with, asking hard questions about bitcoin/crypto (specifically around Value and Utility) elicits a chilling reaction.
For a people that work for bitcoin-specific companies and organizations it makes sense since a certain kind of faith is what's keeping you employed and doing business, but there's just so much blind trust and religious attitude that stifle curiosity and more realistic discussions.
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Most of these businesses are speculative and/or attempts by the established finance world to contain Bitcoin. So they bring leverage, KYC, and scam tactics to try to win users and investors.
The proven use cases for Bitcoin, savings and mining, don't need leverage or KYC. Bitcoin mining is a brutal business which requires a lot of capital, tech expertise and a solid supply chain. As we saw with the last cycle when financial games attempt to be played with mining people get wrecked. Bitcoin as a savings tool just needs hardware wallets, and the better it gets (here comes discomfort) the more it challenges established finance.
Discomfort is the proper vibe when NFTs are the best thing you can come up with, when you don't make hardware, or you're not building for mining or savings.
When I first learned that Bitcoin wasn't just beanie babies and that it would challenge the dollar, I looked at it like a techie who was used to upgrades and troubleshooting. Mail got an upgrade, so why not money? Little did I know the power that would cling to fiat and fight the true innovation. Imagine Windows vs. Linux except the stakes are the ability to tax and control economic value, not software licensing fees.
tl;dr Savings and mining are Bitcoin's proven use cases. Discomfort is natural when you go beyond that.
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How is savings a proven or good use case?
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Bitcoin is a provably scarce asset which is immune to debasement. Yes, the price fluctuates and the common refrain to any sort of stated gain is cherrypicking of the date range, but time has proven that with proper opsec and risk management it has succeeded so well as savings that it turned into a moonshot. Even from here, we know 21M is the kind of hard cap possessed by no other asset in the world.
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That new york bar sounds like shit. There are a ton of meetups in my region and the people at them are always open to having interesting and tough conversations.
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The bar has been a great time the two times I've gone. I might have encountered those dynamics there in this example but the people themselves were fun to talk to besides this. And I've had other great (albeit non-crypto non-tech) conversations there. Pubkey Bar 85 Washington Pl check it out
I have had some real dialogue about value/utility with people in other situations, my viewpoint has shifted based on these conversations, and I'm sure if I spent more time in the community I would find more of this. My point is that I've seen this kind of "true believer" dynamic more in crypto than any other domain I've been in. I've also met some of the most talented software engineers in the space.
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stackers have outlawed this. turn on wild west mode in your /settings to see outlawed content.
lol yeah not being able to relax and putting too much importance on yourself is pretty silly. I think most of the people at the meetup I go to aren't technical either.
If however, your main complaint is actually that you want people to talk to you, it might actually be about the fact that you're introverted. People don't want to bother people who don't want to be bothered. You might be putting off body language that tells everyone around you to leave you alone, unknowingly.
It might go a long way to try to be the one to strike up a conversation, rather than waiting for others to strike a conversation with you.
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I think this is completely and totally fair to say, you're right. I like avoiding conversations, but there's less relief from anxiety in that, I find. What's harder to do is start the conversation, and it's more rewarding.
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As a fellow writer, I'd never thought of solipsism, but I heavily relate after researching. Appreciate you bringing a bit more self awareness to my life!
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I admire introverts with enough initiative to attend these things. When you say take themselves too seriously can you elaborate? This post is such a tease really, like what are some of the specifics you noticed? Intolerance, lack of humor, status games, formal language, tradFi idiocracy...? No need to drop names, but drop the hammer on these motherfuckers, you're a writer writing a social critique.
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that's cool, I appreciate the invitation. I would say the character I'm addressing is someone with power in danger of losing connection with let's say the 'movement' because bitcoin clout is a pretty deafeningly loud echo chamber at times. I don't like to write from a place of authority on my opinion, I like to come at it as a human sharing an experience. This is a weakness in many forms of writing, and maybe I'll start to change that over time.
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Yeah, the whole post was rather vague, and in it's vapidity (bitches love them some fancy words), ironically reflects OP's ego in thinking anyone gives a fuck about her ever-so-subtle sense of the emergent vibe somewhere. 🤦‍♂️
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When you quoted Fitzgerald, I initially was thinking you were referencing this writing:
"The war was over but there was one more yet to fight, the war against the sentimentality that survived from the era of extravagant gestures. It was a thing easier to destroy than to fight. In his mind, he saw men who had swung their partners, great bearded men who had waltzed down the stately minuets of the old Southern order, pause suddenly in the midst of their revels to stand for a moment with glasses uplifted to the sky—so to speak—a last gay toast to Charles Lindbergh."
However, that was from the short story "The Freshest Boy" and not Gatsby. Anyway, based on what you were writing, that quote about taking a pause from the revelry to tip up one's cup came to my mind, for some reason or other.
I appreciate your thoughts.
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Why would someone focus on gender while at a Bitcoin meetup?
If I'm there I will be talking about Bitcoin, to anyone else that is there, even if it's an alien or whatever.
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i think a lot of bitcoiners see themselves as having figured out something most of the population has not yet, which can definitely lead to an air of superiority and self-importance. i also think demographically bitcoiners tend to skew libertarian/right, and i see a lot of the typical manosphere, andrew tate style casual misogyny thrown around. which is a shame.
i do think that will improve as more people come on board, and more diverse viewpoints enter the space. we are still early. but as a progressive i definitely empathize with feeling on the outskirts, and maybe even a tad unwelcome in the current climate.
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Great writeup and I can relate to it. I've attended more meetups outside Bitcoin and this is very true there too. We have a Bitdevs meetup in Vancouver and it is great fortunately. Atmosphere of humility and learning.
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People at meetups suck, at least in the city I'm in. I'm a man, but I'm an immigrant so I kind of get where you're coming from. People don't talk to me at meetups. And when I talk to them, they don't take me seriously. I'm also young and sexy, which doesn't help in a techy environment. I couldn't care less, though. I'm a honeybadger. And when all is said and done, I'll be at the top of the bitcoin mountain.
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hell yeah dude, more power to ya
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CuasCuasCuas, I can't believe I wrote that. I was kind of drunk I guess.
. . . It's true, though!
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I've often been told in the past that I give off an air of self-importance, or unfriendliness, but the truth is it's because I'm shy. I shy away from eye contact and don't make efforts to initiate conversations. It's not a good thing, but it's how I'm wired. So just a thought as to why some people might be behaving in the way that you observe.
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thanks for saying so, it's very possible that I do the same thing. Too bad we can't watch ourselves move about the world. or actually, thank god we don't.
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Too bad we can't watch ourselves move about the world
You can simulate this. It's paralyzing though and I don't recommend it.
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eh maybe others should take themselves and life in general more seriously.
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everything's a trade-off
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Within and without. Pretty much sums up how I feel in most social situations similar to this.
Also, "rubbery balloon skin" is quite descriptive. It can be quite easy to pop, but harder to shed.
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Agree with the general point but a good writer knows that less is more. Forcing a reader to crunch through half the content to get to the actual argument is either part of a greater tease and denial strategy (which doesn't seem at play), or ignorance. Dropping the ego feels good, try it sometimes.
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this is an interesting comment when my point is about dropping ego in order to see
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I've had the chance but just really cbf going to the local meetup. The reason is that while I am interested in Bitcoin, to me, it's not really something that I'm interested in itself as a pretext for a social gathering. I'm building things that integrate with LN and BTC but unless you are interested in privacy or Go programming, or maybe this feeling of being an outsider everywhere, or maybe psychedelics or paleo/carnivore, there's just no conversation to have and to me the majority of bitcoiners are just better quality web devs and not much more than that.
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I'm a woman coming to meetups because I'm interested in bitcoin. No where here did I lament that there weren't more women. But the discussion turned into 'how do we get more women interested', and I'm telling you I'm a woman interested. That was not my point. I didn't raise that issue.
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Not to be cynical but does it really matter?
After reading the Principles of Economics value is at the margin. A woman’s priorities might not involve Bitcoin at this time.
But this type of approach reminds me of construction companies wondering how they get more women laborers to dig a ditch or swing a hammer. Maybe just the way the world is most women just don’t care to do that stuff and that’s okay.
It’s no coincidence that I walk past a maternity ward in a hospital and see the nursing staff is 95% women.
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I'm telling you in this post that I am a woman interested in bitcoin. So I don't know which discussion you are referring to because it's not the one I am having.
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I was making a general statement not specific to your experience.
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Keep building (doing work), prove them wrong, bitcoin is not theirs but everyone's, There are deeper things about bitcoin they will never understand (judging on their attitude). So in some way you may actually understand bitcoin more deeply than them at other levels. Keep it up!
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Hey ladies, don't overlook the incredible upside to attending meetups where your sex is outnumbered 100 to one...
As they say in Alaska, the goods are odd, but the odds are good.
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I remember reading this article some time ago, I really liked how she approached the subject.
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Ok, I got through most of your long-winded rant.
Idk what you being a woman has to do with men taking themselves seriously, but clearly that is important to you or you would have been able to write your post without bringing that into it. Well then understand that the world you inhabit has been built primarily by serious men who take things seriously.
Not being serious is for women, children, and shitcoiners. Sometimes, men who are not serious attempt to emulate useful men and put on an affectation of seriousness, which is what you are likely noticing -- congrats, you are able to filter out non-serious men. Not to worry, bitcoin fixes the collapse of masculinity you are noticing.
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I do not feel that this was a long winded rant in any way. I quoted literature for fun.
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no one cares
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the sats I earned on this post would say otherwise
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$3. your opinions are worth $3. congrats
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thank you it feels awesome
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