Zap to Zero Day 24 | Reality of Control
I am writing this while eating a piece of bread with nothing else but some hummus, raw chopped onions and this on it. Now you might wonder, why am I telling you this? Is this relevant? Will this be relevant? Where is this going? Wait what? You are eating raw onions? Why am I reading this? In which voice am I reading this? Is it my own voice? Or is it the voice that I imagine ek to have? What do I even know about ek? Wait, who am I talking to? Is this breaking the fourth wall? Am I talking to myself? Does he even intend to answer his own question? Or was it my question? Is he even really eating anything right now? Is this all just a game to him? Some kind of mind trick he is trying to play on me? Should I click the link? How many more questions will there be? Will I read this until the end? Is this even going anywhere? Can I stop reading? Would ek really do this? Make me read all these questions for no reason? Do I have a choice? Am I in control here? Am I thinking about pink elephants? Is ek laughing right now?
I wrote this because we have a choice. Actually, we have multiple choices. If we're being real, we have infinite choices at any given moment. We have an uncountable amount of choices. So many choices that we become aware of the rate limits of our minds. There is always one more choice that we haven't thought of yet. At least we think so. But do we know? There aren't many choices that we can think about at the same time. So by definition, at some point, we will have forgotten what we thought about before. So we're kind of stuck thinking about all the choices we have; never realizing that we have no choice but to think about the same choices over and over again. There are so many choices that we have to accept that our choices are limited to just a few since a few is all that we can think about. And when we don't think about it, we're back at thinking that we have a choice or worse: that we have no choice.
art is pebbles on the beachimagine there is a sparkling shore and you have an open day to spend there. just you and the water washing up at intervals beside you. blue sky above, blue water at your feet and beyond the horizon. it fills your senses and makes you understand what infinity means. it’s a pulse. here you are, and you have to do something, although all you want to do is stare out at infinity and listen to it roar. but you have to do something, and naturally your eyes begin to search the ground for treasures. eventually you’re crouching at the edge of the pulse that echoes forever, picking up any small specimen that catches your attention. you lift it to your face, turn it over. finger its crevaces. maybe you smell it, taste it. until it feels like part of you, like the attention you gave it leaves a certain energy with it. you judge that it is good and place it in your pouch. at the end of this day, you spread all the pieces out and organize your collection. you wonder if the best one might sell at the gift shop.
While reading this, I could imagine myself being on that sparkling shore and looking out at the ocean. Looking at the waves coming and going, as if that is all that one needs for all eternity. To see the pulse of nature and be (d)one with it.
It fills your senses and makes you understand what infinity means. It's a pulse.
However, at some point, my eyes would start to wander since the feeling of being frozen in time would inevitably become too overwhelming. Even though all I wanted was to look at these waves. The irony wouldn't be lost on me though. Maybe I would smirk. Maybe I would find other, more mesmerizing waves. Maybe I would find birds flying in the distance and wonder what they are up to. But they will find something like I have to do something.
here you are, and you have to do something, although all you want to do is stare out at infinity and listen to it roar. but you have to do something, and naturally your eyes begin to search the ground for treasures.
After reading, I replied this:
Now I feel bad that I haven't read everything from you already.
— me, #395100
I remembered the one major reason why I like to write. I like to write because I like to read what other people think. It makes me feel connected to them. Writing can be about sharing intimate thoughts in a very scalable way1. And just like these people shared their thoughts with me, I want to reciprocate and share my thoughts with them; in the hope it might give them a similar feeling so we can feel connected together. Like some weird dance of thoughts with emergent properties where something might come out of it but even if nothing comes out of it, it was still worth it. Like musicians that don't play to reach the end of the song, but playing is the goal.
But when I write, there always comes the point where I pause, ponder and wonder: What the fuck am I writing about? Does this even remotely make sense? Do I just want that this makes sense or does this actually make sense? What does it even mean to make sense? How many other human creatures need to be able to follow my thoughts—however difficult it might be—such that I can objectively say: this actually does make sense. Is this the editor part of my mind?
Satistics
| Date | Spent | Stacked (Rewards) | Posts | Comments | Rewarded |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-12-28 | 13k | 8808 (n/a) | 2 | 35 | n/a |
| 2023-12-29 | 16.1k | 15.6k (5222) | 3 | 52 | ⚡ |
| 2023-12-30 | 10.8k | 9752 (7026) | 1 | 41 | ✍️ |
| 2023-12-31 | 20.5k | 17.9k (4379) | 5 | 61 | ⚡ |
| 2024-01-01 | 12.5k | 10.7k (7684) | 3 | 47 | ✍️ |
| 2024-01-02 | 16k | 19.5k (9353) | 6 | 36 | ✍️ |
| 2024-01-03 | 15.9k | 15.6k (6729) | 2 | 46 | ⚡ |
| 2024-01-04 | 11.4k | 11.4k ( | 3 | 38 | ✍️ |
| 2024-01-05 | 11.3k | 11.4k ( | 1 | 41 | ? |
| 2024-01-06 | 6691 | 6282 ( | 0 | 38 | ✍️ |
| 2024-01-07 | 8053 | 8503 ( | 3 | 20 | ✍️ |
| 2024-01-08 | 8873 | 9164 (1219) | 2 | 12 | ⚡ |
| 2024-01-09 | 5828 | 6808 (4649) | ✍️ | ||
| 2024-01-10 | 14.1k | 14.4k (4857) | 3 | 22 | ⚡ |
| 2024-01-11 | 11.8k | 10.4k (4109) | 3 | 22 | ✍️ |
| 2024-01-12 | 8743 | 8016 (4778) | 3 | 41 | ✍️ |
| 2024-01-13 | 9393 | 9339 (3116) | 2 | 17 | ⚡ |
| 2024-01-14 | 14.2k | 6697 (3533) | 4 | 41 | ✍️ |
| 2024-01-15 | 10.2k | 11.3k (3395) | 1 | 15 | ⚡ |
| 2024-01-16 | 6867 | 11.1k (2500) | 2 | 27 | ⚡ |
| 2024-01-17 | 6008 | 6931 (3982) | 1 | 21 | ⚡ |
| 2024-01-18 | 6827 | 7606 (2544) | 2 | 27 | ⚡ |
| 2024-01-19 | 5193 | 6027 (3755) | 1 | 11 | ⚡ |
| 2024-01-20 | 5781 | 4583 (1756) | 2 | 12 | ⚡ |
| 2024-01-21 | TBD | TBD (2065) | TBD | TBD | ⚡ |
Superzaps
1. Culture and Choice by plebpoet on Thriller Bitcoin (2022)
This was the debut of @plebpoet on SN. Reading this and the linked article How A Lefty Became A Maxi made me feel sad, depressed, hopeful and inspired at the same time. Not many things give me such a mixture of feelings. And I am not only saying this to read more from @plebpoet on SN for my own selfish reasons.
Speaking as a young American adult, it seems the culture is broken. The test of a healthy culture should be the general health of the population because it is the culture that supplies the population with information and choice. Did it present you with choices such that if followed, they would lead you to a flourishing life? When I look at myself, family members, close friends, or employers, I find that going along with the culture, using it as the template from which to generate life, plugging in its signals, and following its directions, one ends up miserable, unhappy, single, depressed and probably addicted to something, be it television or other media entertainment, drugs or pornography, gambling or incessant, narcissistic self-care. While I don’t have evidence for this claim, it feels as though recently our culture began to be used as a weapon against us. When I examine the cultural programming around me, and by this I mean the materials and messaging used to influence choices that rely on culturally-accepted norms as their justification, I see traps. I see destruction. The narrowed landscape of choice in the current culture is treacherous.I have my personal experience to speak to this treachery. I listened and went along with the influence of culture long enough for it to mess up and show me that my choices were not my own. I wrote of this personal experience in 2021 for Citadel 21 volume 11, the article titled, “How a Lefty Became a Maxi.” It was my response to the undeniable awakening I went through in 2020. If there ever was a single moment that a human being becomes a sovereign individual, I had mine that summer, and I’ll never forget it. There is a marked difference between who I was prior to June 2020 and who I am now.
Even though I didn't have the "normal suburban American youth" since I grew up in Europe, the story hit close to home. So even though we Europeans (or at least some of us) love to insult America for various reasons, including their broken culture; we're definitely not much better. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. I still remember how I shared the same view on America as many others here do. It's obvious that we're better off than them, right? Right?
But what we didn't figure out yet is that context matters. American history is different to ours. And now we are faced with war at the gates of Europe.
2. How A Lefty Became A Maxi (2021)
This is the first post that I link to which is not on SN. At least I didn't find it. I am very glad that @plebpoet linked to it in the post above else I am not sure if I would have found it.
My story is bigger than what I can cover with one article, and besides that, I’m still processing all the changes I’ve gone through. I have been struggling to find a way to share it, to grasp the shape that it takes when told. The difference between who I was before and who I am now is disorienting, and much of the pieces of my past I have forgotten on purpose.
I really loved reading this since it brings the struggle of my generation to a point. I struggled with finding which parts I should quote since every paragraph feels as important as the one before. So please, read the article and thank me and most important @plebpoet later.
3. help me get through my writer's block
A little less than 3 months ago, @plebpoet shared more struggles with us. Struggles that I also can relate to and fight by writing daily.
I hope you will lend me your ear, as i have something to say into it.lately, i have spent a lot of time thinking about writing on stacker news. I find myself feeling tense and confused and vague about it. i want to layout the whole thing, like why i am thinking about writing on stacker news and why it feels really hard to do it. i mostly want to set it out in writing for myself because it feels like a block i need to get through. but i thought hey, at the same time, why don't i present my case to the stackers and receive the benefit of your perspective on the matter.[...]in other places i write, it is easier for me to take criticism. i can accept it of my more interpretive work like poems. at the same time, i haven't received a huge amount nor a consistent load of criticism on my serious pursuits. when it comes to my writing, the work that feels like what i am made to do, i have a hard time accepting that someone will find something impure in it.this is another way to interpret the block i'm experiencing: i feel that everyone on stacker news is smarter than me and already knows everything that i know, and knew it before i knew it. what conversation could i add to? and also, what is it that i think about?? when i sit down to write an sn post, my mind is spinning up too many possibilities and they all convince me i have nothing to say. i seem unable to find a central point to speak on nor an accessible perspective to speak from.if anything i've said here is making sense, i hope you'll let me know it. i trust you will graciously take it in.
does anyone think about the things i think about?
I certainly seem to think about the things you do.
and also, what is it that i think about??
See? That's what I am also trying to figure out haha:
Your writing style is addicting. Kind of a more friendly Popescu. I read it to see what's going on in that head of yours more than for this experiment. I bet I'm not the only one.Thank you! I also write to see what's in my or been in my head.
— me, #392836
I want to write more since I know there is more to share but at the same time, I know that the time of writing is over for me—for now. I will definitely share more thoughts when the time came back. Now it's the time for the rest of SN to share their thoughts.
Very happy to have you here @plebpoet!
Challenge of the Day
Write. Pen and Paper.
Song of the Day
Psychic spies from China try to steal your mind's elation And little girls from Sweden dream of silver-screen quotation And if you want these kind of dreams, it's CalifornicationIt's the edge of the world and all of Western civilization The sun may rise in the East, at least it settled in a final location It's understood that Hollywood sells CalifornicationPay your surgeon very well to break the spell of aging Celebrity skin: is this your chin or is that war you're waging? First born unicorn Hardcore soft pornDream of Californication Dream of Californication Dream of Californication Dream of Californication
Footnotes
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Scaling intimacy. Sounds like an oxymoron. ↩