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Oooh! Cool

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youhouu

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Why did the manager bring a pencil and paper to the match? They were hoping for a draw!

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How does a penguin build his house? Igloos it together.

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A big moron and a little moron were standing on a cliff. The big moron fell off. Do you know why the other one didn’t? Because he was a little more on.

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Why did the clown always choose the red balloon? Because they were pop-ular.

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Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was de-Brie everywhere.

Which month do trees dislike? Sep-timber!

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Cliff.

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What do you call birds that stick together? Vel-crows.

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What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race? Ketchu

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What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships.

What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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How do rabbits travel? By hareplanes.

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What did the yoga instructor say when her landlord tried to evict her? Namaste.

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When do computers overheat? When they need to vent.

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What are a shark’s two most favorite words? Man overboard!

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@Roll Im Gonna mute you now. My push notifications are on fireee. I'll unmute you after this ends.

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Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice!

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What kind of ghost has the best hearing? The eeries

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What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell!

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Why did the M&M go to school? He wanted to be a Smartie.

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Noo way lol

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You know what I saw today? Everything I looked at.

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What do skateboarders do when they’re really talented? They GoPro!

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Why did the alien go to the doctor? He was looking a little green.

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Hmmm dad joke

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What do you call ticks in space? Luna-ticks.

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What do planets sing in a choir? Nep-tunes.

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What did Venus say to Saturn? Give me a ring.

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Not a good one

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What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.

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What do Martians like to drink? Gravi-TEA.

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What is an astronaut’s favorite meal of the day? Launch.

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What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purrr-ple.

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Why couldn’t the pony sing? Because she was a little hoarse.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? The mooooo-vies!

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Why did the tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal.

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If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes.

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Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

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What do you call two monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates.

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Why are teddy bears never hungry? Because they’re always stuffed!

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Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

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bride

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What do you call a dinosaur that asks a lot of deep questions? A philosiraptor.

How did the dinosaur build her house? With a dino-saw.

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What’s an avocado’s favorite kind of music? Guac and roll!

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Why did the dinosaur go to the doctor? He had an eye-saur.

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No youhouu

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i should

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What does a ghost wear to splash in puddles? BOOOOOOOts.

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No youghoo

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enough i know :P

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Where do happy lightning bolts live? Cloud nine.

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What is a gust of wind’s favorite color? Blew.

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No way

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it s on the right

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What doesn’t get any wetter no matter how much it rains? The ocean.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear…

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Why are elevator jokes so good? Because they work on so many levels.

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What do you call it when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown.

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Why are pediatricians always so grumpy? They have little patients.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

What musical instrument do you find in the bathroom? A tuba toothpaste!

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What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.

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Why do sharks live in salt water? Because pepper water makes them snee

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What does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.

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What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hey, bud!

What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!

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In which part of New York do cholesterol levels tend to be lowest? Statin Island.

People are always worried about their cell phones or microwaves spying on them. Truth is, those are not the appliances you need to be concerned about. It’s your Vacuum Cleaner that you need to be worried about – it’s been collecting dirt on you for years.

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What did the traffic light say to the traffic light? Don’t look, I’m changing.

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Why did the Football Coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back.

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What does a baby computer call its father? Data!

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Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party? Because it’s so cool.

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What did the grape say to the silly peanut butter? You’re nuts!

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When do you need to climb the ladder? To get to High School.

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Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts.

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What did the right eye say to the left eye? Between you and me, something smells!

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not yet

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